| Your SO & your friends don't like each other, choose between the 2??? - Click HERE for Original Thread |
| REFLUX |
Alright, so your SO doesn't like your friends and your friends aren't too fond of your SO.
You don't see these friends often anyways and your SO feels kind of betrayed that you would spend time with people who don't like your SO.
What do you do? |
|
|
| DC5PWR |
Are your friends putting out?
Stick with your SO... <---which Im hoping is a girl terry:confused: |
|
|
| s2oooR |
does your SO have friends that you dont like and dont like you?
u get the idea...(works both ways) |
|
|
| wubba_65 |
If your friends don't like your SO, that is their right, just as it is her right not to like them. But she has no right to ask you not to see them, or get offended that you would want to see them (hence why they are your friends).
Maybe she is just afraid that they will convince you to split up with her, and that is probably an indication that she feels insecure in your relationship. If you don't care whether you see these friends anymore then it is probably just easier to cut ties with them. But if you enjoy hanging out with them, you have to make it clear that although you are commited to her in your relationship, these are your friends and you have to make time for them as well. Even if it is only once every two months. You don't expect her to come along, but leave the invitation open to her.
You are going to have to reassure her, because she will feel insecure every time that you go out with them. If you are truly commited to her then she has nothing to worry about.
:blue: |
|
|
| REFLUX |
Aaron:
hahaha yes it is a woman :p
Rommel:
Yeah she has friends who don't like me & I don't like them, but I'm fine with her spending time with them.
wubba:
good points! |
|
|
| RacerGirl |
quote:
Originally posted by DC5PWR
Are your friends putting out?
Stick with your SO... <---which Im hoping is a girl terry:confused:
Agreed. |
|
|
| HeavyEarly87T |
I would be more interested in why they don't like your SO. What is it that she/he represents that your friends find offensive or dislike?
There are many reasons we are attracted to people. Most of them are not what you would expect. Unexpressed expectations are created the moment you begin a relationship. The growth part of the relationship is learning what those expectations are and having both parties compromise for mutual benefit. Others do not see the same things as you do, hence the expression “Love is blind”,
You must first decide if the reasons your friends don’t like your SO are valid, and figure out if this is a situation that can be eased over time.
Example:
People don’t like your SO because she/he is snobby, stuck up, secretive.
The reality could be that the SO is confident in themselves, but still shy in groups.
In time it may work out. That’s all I can say about it.
Of course it does go both ways; sometimes you have to dump your friends to grow on your own.
(Dr. Phil hat removed)
Url |
|
|
| Billy |
TFB for her. They aren't her friends. They are your friends. If she can't understand that, kick her to the curb. It's just another way for her to tighten the leash on you.
Yes I'm bitter. Yes it's happened to me. And Yes I am single now. I chose, and I'm happy with my decision. I'd been through more shit with my friends than I had with her. I valued them more than her. She didn't get it. It all depends on how you truly feel about these friends. If they don't mean much to you, cut the ties. If they do mean something to you, tell her to suck it up. If she doesn't get it, show her the door. |
|
|
| bluecargirl666 |
quote:
Originally posted by DC5PWR
Are your friends putting out?
Stick with your SO... <---which Im hoping is a girl terry:confused:
hero:bowdown: |
|
|
| bigmack000 |
if your friends dont like the SO thats fine.
If your SO gets pissed that your hanging out with your FRIENDS!! messed up!! Put it this way, never give up your friedns in the end they will be all you got. You and a life before that SO and you can go back to it. i would tell them to deal or buh bye :blue: |
|
|
| bigmack000 |
quote:
Originally posted by bluecargirl666
hero:bowdown:
haha your all about the booty :lol: |
|
|
| REFLUX |
Thanks for the tips everyone :)
It turned out to be a combination of Earl's, Billy's & wubba's posts :D
Communication :bthumbup: |
|
|
| s2oooR |
quote:
Originally posted by bigmack000
haha your all about the booty :lol:
:bthumbup: |
|
|
| truekaos |
its not your friends choice on who you are with....
tell everyone to get over it and spend some time with the boys..
and make sure it QUALITY time with the lady. |
|
|
| masterv |
| bro's before hoes my man |
|
|
| RacerGirl |
Vince:
That should not always be the case. If you've been with the girl like 2 weeks, fine, but if you're ina long term with your gf, and your friends are being asshats about it, why not stick up for the girl you love? Get a backbone. If you always do the bro's before ho's then you'll still be alone and bitter after your friends ditch you for girls, and get married and all that shit. Why would you risk losing your perfect girl because your friends tell you to leave her?
truekaos: I agree. |
|
|
| s2oooR |
| she's not the perfect girl if she's telling you to leave your friends she doesnt like. |
|
|
| masterv |
^
Crys:
Girls can come and go just like friends so you can be alone and bitter either way. As friends, you have more people who can look out for you.
I'm not necessarily always firm in ground on that statement - to ALWAYS go with your friends, but I believe there are trade-offs and depends on how the balance of scale is, much like how it was mentioned in previous posts. Yes, you should defend the person you care about, but I'm not the type of person who will step in between and be an ass about it. I would respect what his choices are and just let be. But when I know a friend's head is not on straight and if he is led around by the choke chain, then "I" as a true friend should be there to smack the side of his head.
If your SO criticizes your friends just based on perceptions against her, wouldn't it be selfish of her to want to cut your ties with them as well? |
|
|
| RacerGirl |
Sorry vince, I am a little bitter lately.
I didnt mean in the situation where you witness your buddy getting the choke chain, but in a regular type situation...
Rommel: what if your gf sees something in your friends that you don't see, because you're so used to their ways or because you think your friends can do no wrong? |
|
|
| kypraio |
This isn't really related but what is a SO? Significant other? I keep seeing it and it bothers me that i have no clue what it stands for.
-Matt |
|
|
| REFLUX |
quote:
Originally posted by kypraio
This isn't really related but what is a SO? Significant other? I keep seeing it and it bothers me that i have no clue what it stands for.
-Matt
Significant Other :) |
|
|
| Scintillater |
the main thing is WHY they don't like each other.
my friends didn't like a SO of mine, but that's because of how I was being treated and the long term run of things. often, you're blinded and you need to take a look at why they feel that way about your SO.
i've had a SO who didn't like certain friends of mine, because they felt i was being taken advantage of by this person and not being treated well as a friend.
so, bottom line, you have to figure out the root then evaluate from there.
ask your family what they think too. they often have a clear picture, whether or not you like to admit it. parents have a pretty good sense of judgment...unless they're totally fucked up like some. hahahahahaha. i'm lucky my parents have really been there for me, and i didn't see it until recently. |
|
|
| cl0r0x |
| My ex SO hated alot of my frineds even cold cocked one of em. thing is she knows they are my friends. And my friends know she's my SO. if your friends tell you they don't like her thats fine theyre allowed to tell you thats what friends are for being honest. HOWEVER when your friends start telling you to ditch the bitch or lose the ho. or you SO starts telling you to lose your friends then skid her. no one has a right to tell you what to do opinion is one thing but telling someone WHAT to do WHO to hang out with then fuck em. |
|
|
| Markgase2000 |
| SO are better they last forever. Friends leave when they get SO's and become scarce that is life....... How many of your friends have you let go since highschool? Think about it.... One gives you kids and the others give you a brewski every here and there. |
|
|
| bigmack000 |
| my new gf wants to meet all my friends and not speparte me from them . she wants to be apart of it i think its cool :) |
|
|
| s2oooR |
| bs, i havnt met her yet :fingersx: |
|
|
| bigmack000 |
lol
if you come lay brick this weekend you will !:p |
|
|
| DeathBy240 |
| You and your slave labour! |
|
|
| clapbak |
this is why u keep your gf and freinds completely apart.. like i do.. no problems this way.. :P
and she keeps her freinds away from me.. works out good.. :P |
|
|
| bigmack000 |
quote:
Originally posted by DeathBy240
You and your slave labour!
come lay brick damn it ! |
|
|
| BlueTurboEGG |
quote:
Originally posted by masterv
bro's before hoes my man
I know a guy who used to chant that on a regular basis until he got himself a girl.
Now he constantly thinks with his penis when it comes to decision making. |
|
|
|
|
|
