| Markis |
With all these new Holywood movies coming out, me thinks V8less should write our own.
Add your 1 liner,
SO IT BEGINS...
One night while cruising down Whyte Ave ... |
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| djshortys |
| my car ran outta gas, |
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| JDC™ |
| ...an acura 1.6el with aluminum wing and chrome hubcaps pulls up next to me... |
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| HavoK |
| ....so my buddy says "SMOKE HIM"... |
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| nuimagegsi |
| but because i had no gas i pulled into the closes gas station. |
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| uncle ben |
| And i ordered a tunafish sandwich with the crusts cut off |
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| GroundZeroTalon |
| but the tuna girls boyfriend came and asked if that was my rusted out pinto |
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| 1mns13 |
| And I said, "no it's my buddy's I can't afford a Pinto." |
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| Nightstalker |
| I am on the scooter with the turbo and NOS |
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| ManHunter |
| And at that moment, the EL stopped besides our pinto again, and the losers inside started taunting us again... |
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| Nightstalker |
| SO I say, you wana race.. I will give you a race.. as I pull my scooter out of the pinto |
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| REFLUX |
| little did the EL know.....i swapped in a turbocharged Hayabusa engine into my scooter |
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| uncle ben |
| SO i stripped to my underwear for weight reduction and then reved my engine untill 3 foot flames shot from the dual exhaust. |
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| Nightstalker |
| I felt the chilly I had for dinner was finnally coming into play.. I took out my lighter just in case I could take advantage of it.. (Yes.. his lighter was in his underwear.. if the stuff that happens in FNF can happen there.. this can happen here :) ) |
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| gunmetalalloys |
| realizing he's dealing with serious competition, the EL driver promptly slaps on a white "mugen power" decal on the driver side door for extra horsepower. his friend taps him on the shoulder and says "horsepower isn't everything my friend, you'll also need a red mugen sticker for added torque". |
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| dmak_el |
| at this time, there is a hot japanese girl wakes in front of us |
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| Nightstalker |
| This is the point that I wished I had a little more clothing on to help keep my HUGE package from flying out of my shorts |
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| SRBURG13 |
| Ah forget about the weight restrictions, she saw the package and loved it!!!! I need to get laid tonight.........AGAIN. So this biznat hopped on to the back of my fly ride. I knew I could smoke this foo in the Acura anywayz. |
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| mrprecidia |
| So i handed her some silicon to spray on the manifold, because I didn't want to blow the welds when I hit the NAWS. |
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| Clem |
| But when we got in the car the NAWS bottles were leaking (I have 2 of them, the big ones) and it made our voices sound really funny. |
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| Pro Drag |
| So in my NAWZ induced 5 year old voice I look over and sayz to the Acura guy, "It's not how you run your mouth, it's how you run your car" |
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| BlueTurboEGG |
| I live my life a bottle of NOS at a time, so why don't you take a... |
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| Clem |
| ....colonic and call me in the morning. |
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| Nightstalker |
| the guy in the acura turns to me and says. Well I live my life a quater pounder at a time.. After I leave you in my exhaust cloud your buying bitch.. |
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| REFLUX |
| so we nod & head to the next red light....... |
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| mrprecidia |
| I am ahead by half a length of my scooter when....... |
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| Nightstalker |
| suddenly the plat I am standing ons little sub plate starts to scrape on the ground and flys off for no apparent reason |
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| KAOS41 |
| the plate flies through the air missing everything and everone thats when i look down at my laptop "WARNING, WARNING MUFFLER BEARINGS ABOUT TO BLOW" |
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| BlueTurboEGG |
| Then I boondoggle my ass in the the pasenger side, press two keys on my multi-function PDA/Thightop and adjust the Nawss pressure when the... |
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| SlowAzzPorsche911T |
| and then outta no where 50 cop cars showed up and 2 helicopters to break up all the spectators watching on the sidewalk... |
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| JDC™ |
| so i hid my scooter in a bush and started to walk away with this fly asian girl when... |
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| REFLUX |
| SHE JUMPED MY BONES!!! :o |
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| mrprecidia |
| then this bald guy walks into the bush and says........ hey uhhhh dats my sista.... |
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| PraxRX7 |
| .. and I said "Oh yea?, you got any more sisters I can bone?"..so then he... |
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| REFLUX |
| whipped out his .44 magnum Clint Eastwood style!!!! |
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| djshortys |
| than i whipped out my double edged razor sharp paperclip! |
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| dmak_el |
| suddenly, 2 SWAT teams come off from 2 police bikes, so..... |
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| SRBURG13 |
(2 Swat teams got off of only 2 bikes??? Hmmm. Haha, sorry, I had to say something. Haha.) back to the story................
The big brother ran away, and I continued to pump away at the beautiful asain under me. The swat just thought that we were a sweet couple making passionate love, so they left us alone. Little did they know, my buddy was around the corner, and we were gonna TAG TEAM her SOOOOO bad. Hehe................. |
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| uncle ben |
| but then we realized how sick that was, and i opted to hit her up for cab money, then split. Once we got back to my scooter some guys in honda's shot the shit out of my scooter. That bitch exploded sending hot chunks of metal everywhere, then all of the sudden....... |
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| gunmetalalloys |
| i wake up to the morning sunrise, two girls, and a huge cardboard cutout of Captain Sulu... |
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| GroundZeroTalon |
| the cardboard cutout had his cardboard hand down my pants as i looked at the girls on the otherside of the room and suddenly i felt violated |
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| BlueTurboEGG |
| It was then I jumped into the SHAGUAR with Dominic to cruise the boulevard, when we stopped at a red light and a Lada pulls up next to us and... |
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| uncle ben |
| After a breif stall, i smoke the crap out of my canadian tire rubber, trying to get the lada to take the bait. The guy in the lada looks over at me and............ |
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| dogstar |
| dominic asks if hes gonna race that lada, or if he wants to get blown off by some polish fiat? |
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| SlowAzzPorsche911T |
| so I shout at the guy "yo hey... what's the retail on that beauty" ? He yells back... more then you can afford asshole... Lada... revs the engine and a huge puff of blue smoke streams out... Dominic looks over and..... |
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| Nightstalker |
| says "I don't know about this.. his smoke cloud was bigger then yours.." |
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| HavoK |
| so once the light turned green he.... |
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| WookeysRX7 |
| he punched it hard and look over to see the lada doing a 4 wheel burn out with flames comin outta the exhaust! |
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| ManHunter |
| And the Lada then self-destructed in a mushroom cloud of blue, black and white smoke, sending Dominic flying into... |
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| s2oooR |
| ...a girl with big boobs and nice piece of ass, where he began to.... |
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| WookeysRX7 |
| ...tell her that even though her breasts were rather large, they still weren't big enough so he........ |
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| s2oooR |
| unzipped her pants and began to.... |
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| HavoK |
| touch where he hasnt touched b4, he then noticed... |
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| ManHunter |
| ...BlueTurboEgg running towards him yelling "That's my wife! I'll kill you!". So Dominic ran for... |
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| redbaron303 |
| his pimped out geo metro, while BlueTurboEGG was chasing afterhim with his Chinese war swords... |
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| WookeysRX7 |
lucky for Dominic. the ol' geo had a bored out 454 to a 468!! damn that thing was fast until he.......
I have honestly seen a 90's metro convertible with a 468 for sale in the Auto Trader. it had a roll cage and wheelie bars and all that crazy stuff. they wanted like $30000, hehe damn that would be crazy to drive! |
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| dmak_el |
| ...until he realize that he dorpped his keys somewhere while he was touching BlueTurboEgg's wife so...... |
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| SlowAzzPorsche911T |
| pulled out his spare set from his high heels (this is a movie remember) and afer tripping and fumbling with the keys and the whirr..arrrrrurrrr whirrrr of the geo trying to start he remembers that his geo has no juice, just then.... |
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| mr2_import |
| it was night time and dark so he got in his 468 geo and turned on his pink neons underneath his car and when he was driving cops came after him so he went underneath a hugh trucker and lucky lost the cops |
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| dogstar |
| just as he saw a blue egg roaring up behind him the engine began to sputter and cough...dominic would need NAWS to get to the next gas station... |
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| s2oooR |
| ...but instead, he found a pube stuck in his teeth from his wife's bush......He began to floss and... :lol: |
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| uncle ben |
| All of the sudden out of nowhere, the floor boards flew out from underneath the car! Sparks flew everywhere, igniting his JDM squash air freshiner Ablaze! Toxic JDM smoke filled the cabin...... |
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| s2oooR |
| but not before the pube, between his teeth, lit on fire too! :o |
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| Nightstalker |
| Suddenly a air line let go on the semi and the trailiers brakes lock on hard (we never got him out from under the trailer) |
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| s2oooR |
| ...with the pube still on fire....hahahahaha |
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| dogstar |
| the blue turbo egg pulls up on one side of the trailer, blocking escape!! |
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| coldrsx |
| then we all drive away in our BASERSX's |
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| ManHunter |
| That was a close call! I think we escaped... We are now on the way home, but... |
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| Nightstalker |
| We run out of gas.. just like in the dream.. |
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| s2oooR |
| Wth, Eggy's wife is waiting for us at the gas station? Whats she saying again? whats that? "Gimme back my pube!" hahahahaha |
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| ewind |
| buuutttt .... HE SWALLOWED IT?!?!?!?!? |
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| REFLUX |
| right after he swallowed Eggy's wife's pube he had a vision of an entirely death defying risk taking manuever where he would take his "geo-metro turned basersx" with Eggy's wife with huge tits & nice ass in the back seat holding 2 bottles of NAWZ replacement gasoline bottles and lock his steering wheel to the left by which his basersx, with POS suspension & tires, would do a 180 turn to the side, escaping from underneath the semi & face the blueturboegg simultaneously in a all too smooth split second motion......then with the NAWZ bottles, Eggy's wife would.......... |
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| s2oooR |
| pluck off anohter pube and tell him he's got something in his teeth? |
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| BlueTurboEGG |
(Oh you guys are assholes)
But not before Maria decided to breakup with S2000R for finding pubes trapped in his teeth. Reflux decides to start throwing loonies at Maria hoping she'll take off her clothes when S2000R say's "HEY, That's my Ex-Girlfriend you bastard" Reflux knocks a "0" off S2000R and now he's S200R!.
S200R not one to back down from a fight proceed to Fairy-Bitch Slaps Reflux who goes running to Manhunter for protection... |
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| BlueTurboEGG |
Now, He's called Manhunter for a reason kids...
MH Whips out his 2 pound rubber handled dong and soundly penis whips S200R. |
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| BlueTurboEGG |
Then ManHunter turns to Dogstar...
"So, Y'like Dags, do-ya?" |
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| Scintillater |
| (I hope none of you aspire to ever be screenwriters) |
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| BlueTurboEGG |
Right then and there, Ewind runs up behind ManHunter and throws a colostomy bag at him!!!. <plash!>
Dogstar and Ewind proceed to force a small sheep up ManHunters bum... |
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| BlueTurboEGG |
The Sheep gets pressed halfway in without lube...
Ewind: "Gee, this seems rather easy..."
Reflux: "Yeah, what gives"
S200R: "Guys?, Guys!, I'm kinda turned on here..."
Ewind and Reflux turn to S200R...
Meanwhile, while the attention is off ManHunter, Manhunter laods his devastating Nostril Broccoli launcher, a devastating weapon that fires a fury of green and liquid...
S200R: "Hey, can I have the sheep when you're done?"
ManHunter: "k-chack..." |
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| Scintillater |
meanwhile, on the OTHER SIDE OF THE CITY, some REAL streetracing story was happening.
Markis was tired of driving around his stock truck, so he decided,
"I think this baby need some NOS....and some NO FEAR stickers to boost it up a bit"
Just as he is driving around, some toothless hillbillies pull up in their suped up Mustangs with that Calvin & Hobbes comic peeing on the ford symbol on the windshield,
"hey there pardner...nice wheels you got there"
they say with a menacing sneer. |
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| BlueTurboEGG |
| When dmak el pulls up on an ETS Bus and a crack whore on each arm... |
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| Nightstalker |
| (I think I am going to order up some nice white jackets for you guys.. I give up this is messed up beond even what I can think up) |
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| BlueTurboEGG |
| (There are those who pretend to fight, there are those who are street brawlers... I will drag you rear through the mud and bury you in it :P ) |
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| Pro Drag |
Not one to back down from a challenge, Markis rev's the Triton for all it's worth.
The boyz in the Mustang rev the 5.0 and hold it to the redline, until the light turns green.
First gear is a cloud of tire smoke from both vehicles, tire's screaming for traction as they leave the line.
Through the thick cloud of tire and oil smoke a set of headlights appears in the contestants side mirrors. A white vehicle flashes past both Phord's with the hiss of an external wastegate dumping 25 pounds of boost between shifts.
All they could make out as the car grew small in the distance was a bumper sticker that read: "Mitsuman Ownz" |
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| s2oooR |
| hahahahahaha....and THENNNNNNN......S2ooR stands next to his girl Maria so he can become s2oooR again :P ....get it? :o |
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| dogstar |
| dogstar sees the halfton and mustang roar past and yells to the group, are we gonna orchestrate this shit? just like the cops in some movie i saw, it was orchestrated man. |
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| ewind |
| then suddenly the white car goes careening off a bridge as people hear a soft cry ... "mitsuman oowwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnssssssssssssssssss i'lllllllll beeeeee baaaacccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk" |
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| redbaron303 |
| and so the crowd wonders.... was it the NAWS power that drove him over the bridge..... |
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| uncle ben |
| His many stickers curl in the heat of the flaming mass that was once an eclipse. DSM owners all shed a tear across canada, knowing that one of the last decent cars mitsubushi will EVER bring to canda was destroyed due to "lead foot / air head" disorder ....... |
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| REFLUX |
and with the death of Mitsuman this thread winds to a dead STOP
-_- |
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| Pro Drag |
| ....but not before "resourceful" DSM'ers strip everything they can off of "white lightning", Diamond Star owners are like native's, nothing goes to waste. :bigthumbup: |
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| ewind |
| upon closer inspection they ARE NATIVES!!!! :o :o jacking as much as they can off the vehicle and selling them to the highest bidder!!! |
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| gunmetalalloys |
| of course they lick the paint off and sniff the fumes from the gas tank to get a cheap high... |
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| uncle ben |
| Uncle ben pulls over and spills some of his malt liquor on the ground, giving in effect a ghetto toast to mitsuman, "at least he died doing what he loved" He then sped off in his kick ass EP3. |
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| REFLUX |
| this thread is still alive!? :o |
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