| sex drive? - Click HERE for Original Thread |
| jean-yus |
Hi ppl.. nobody knows me but ive been shadowing this board for a few weeks, decided it was worth signing up!
I have a question for the guys pertaining to sex.
Guys sex drive.. is it a turn off when your gf wants to have sex with you? Any guys push their gfs away when only the girl wants to have sex? or is there such a thing as a guy who doesnt want to? Im just confused and since this board seems to be 90 or so % male.. thought i might get some insight.. I dont think im unattractive.. weve been going out for 6mos or so.. i just dont know what else to do..
THx..
-Tracey |
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| SaabKraft |
random thoughts:
maybe in past relationships the girl pushed sex on as a substitute for a solid emotonal foundation, trying to get him to stay with her, even if he had no real attachment.
alot of guys might be uncomfortable playing the role as the sterotypical dickhead male who's always pushing it onto her. they want you to see them beyond that, so are perhaps more reserved and uncommunicative when it comes to that.
they might have self confidence issues? maybe he needs some reassurance that you really want to, and that you think he's appealing in more than just that way.
seriously, sit down and talk with him, try to explore some angles on why and why not, and where he's coming from. |
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| ae1969 |
quote:
Originally posted by jean-yus
Hi ppl.. nobody knows me but ive been shadowing this board for a few weeks, decided it was worth signing up!
I have a question for the guys pertaining to sex.
Guys sex drive.. is it a turn off when your gf wants to have sex with you? Any guys push their gfs away when only the girl wants to have sex? or is there such a thing as a guy who doesnt want to? Im just confused and since this board seems to be 90 or so % male.. thought i might get some insight.. I dont think im unattractive.. weve been going out for 6mos or so.. i just dont know what else to do..
THx..
-Tracey
Uhmmmm only 6 months and we have this problem. I hate to say it........ but..... I won't. :D
Honestly any woman that I would date for that long........All she would have to do is snap her fingers.
I would say 90% of men are usually ready for combat.
There are cases where it is a medical, emotional, psychological, physical etc.....
What is interesting is that I know guys that supposedly don't respond to there significant other.
What is sad.......is they have no problem getting there juices flowing for others.
Its not you Tracey its him. |
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| Soulfly |
Just Come on over .. and we'll solve that problem.. ahhahah.. Just kidding..! :p
But As the other guys said.. It might be somthing from the past.. OR... Do you do Other things?? But just not sex? or what's the deal?? :dunno:
If you do other things.. and not sex.. He could be saving it for "The right time" or setting??
Meh.. I'll wait for your reply.. :thumbup: |
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| kyuu |
| Depends if I'm watching a hockey game or not |
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| jean-yus |
other things? No we've definatly had sex.. good sex.. great sex.. just not lately..
And there is not snapping of fingers, I dont like telling people what to do, I ask.. and sometimes I don't at that. |
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| jean-yus |
quote:
Originally posted by SaabKraft
random thoughts:
seriously, sit down and talk with him, try to explore some angles on why and why not, and where he's coming from.
ive mentioned it saabkraft.. and my response is ' so what im supposed to want to whenever you do ' my only thought was that 'and i'm supposed to?' |
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| No-Pistons |
| the past few times i could or have had sex its been hard for me to get in the mood the girls very attractive i dont know but she doesnt want a relationship and thats a turn off for me becasue i want to have a relationship with her. its easy enough to find girls to just have sex with i dont know maybe im getting old lol. |
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| bigmack000 |
depends on a laot of things how tired they are form work if they ate enough stuff liek that.
some times after work i can barly move and the lack of sleep doens't help so i would rather just lay in bed and sleep then put effort into sex |
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| ae1969 |
quote:
Originally posted by bigmack000
..........so i would rather just lay in bed and sleep then put effort into sex
quote:
Originally posted by No-Pistons
.............the past few times i could or have had sex its been hard for me to get in the mood the girls very attractive i dont know...........
Shit guys.......A lack of sex drive common amongst Rx-7 guys??? (Just kidding) :D
Honestly Jean-yus............ You are totally correct. He should respond to you. I am sure he expects you to respond when he wants to play.
Obviously he has done this more than once. Otherwise it would not be an issue.
A change in sexual drive is affected by everything I mentioned in my previous posts......... If you rule out those things you are only left with one thing.
DING. Someone else. |
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| twix_baby! |
| its not the sex drive that the problem. I mean being with someone for so long and having a regular sex life with him is great. but sometimes sex can become boring. so u got to spice it up a bit. instead of asking for sex, persuade him by just appearing in a sexy new lingerie. Its easy as that, if that doesnt work then he's an idiot or he's doing it with someone else. |
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| REFLUX |
my sex drive is quite healthy and I own an RX-7....but it's an FC.
The two above are FD owners...hmmm.....ahahhaha
Tracey, as others have already said, it sounds like it's more his issue than it is yours.
I don't know how old he is but I'll guess he's younger then 25 and if that is the case, guys 25 & younger should have quite the raging sex drive.
Of course that doesn't mean 100% of guys under 25 have a strong drive, there will be those who have problems/insecurities/issues/concerns or whatever.
Key word: Communication.
Talk about it & go from there. |
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| Flex |
quote:
Originally posted by REFLUX
I don't know how old he is but I'll guess he's younger then 25 and if that is the case, guys 25 & younger should have quite the raging sex drive. [/B]
that goes for guys older then 25 to............:thumbup:
sounds like he has issues...........if you have only been together 6 months and hes petering out (no pun intended) then something is up...........if that avatar is your real pic then hes crazy to trn you down.......im guessing hes getting it somewhere else. |
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| TrevorK |
Communication is the key to any relationship.
It's been stated already, but needs to be restated.
Bring your concerns to your BF, tell him that you have needs and want to know what's going on. Ask him if there's something you need to change - perhaps he has a fetish and you need to give it a try?
Bottom line - talk to him. If you can't hold a serious conversation about the sexual state of your relationship, which is a critical piece, then perhaps it's a sign of bigger problems. |
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| jean-yus |
Flex --
thats what i thought.. i see him alot but .. i just dont know anymore you know? I asked him about it before.. and he just went on about how serious he was about us and i should trust him bc he trusts me.. blah blah blah..
I know sex shouldnt be the focal point of any relationship.. but it really puts a damper on things when its all you can think about.
He wanted to date me in the first place.. i dont think ive changed the way i look.. and i dont think ive really changed when it comes to sex or whatever.
Im just lost about it.. |
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| TrevorK |
quote:
Originally posted by jean-yus
I know sex shouldnt be the focal point of any relationship.. but it really puts a damper on things when its all you can think about.
Don't fool yourself - sex is a huge part of any relationship. It's probably just as critical as any other piece. |
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| jean-yus |
what about people who dont have sex in their relationships?
I'm sure theres a few. What is it that makes their relationship hold together? I don't want to beleive hes sleeping with someone else.. but then again maybe i'm just blind.
love is blind but the neighbors aint? or something.. |
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| silvia s13 |
Relax, your only 17. HS sweethearts usually dont workout. ;)
As for "What about people who dont have sex in their relationships?"..."What is it that makes their relationship hold together?"
If your relationship depends on sex that much, then you have alot of learning to do. Sex should be a bonus, not the holding point. |
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| sparkycivic |
| i found that my own personal baggage gets in the way sometimes, which causes problems. maybe, he's not being fully truthful with you in what he wants, or doesn't want. |
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| Flex |
Sex is a big part of a relationship...........the 3 things most couples fight about are Sex, money and kids.
"Sex is like air.......its only important when your not getting any"
Im not saying its everything in the relationship but it is an important part.
Talk to him and se what he says.......if he shrugs it off as no big deal....tell him its a big deal to you and you need to work this out. |
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| ae1969 |
quote:
Originally posted by TrevorK
Don't fool yourself - sex is a huge part of any relationship. It's probably just as critical as any other piece.
Exactly....
and as has been mentioned money and kids.
I know of 2 married couples that have sex issues....
Couple A : The female has more drive than the other.... : There are definitely arguments about it. She is getting quite insecure about the hole thing. The funny thing is he has no problem looking at other chicks. Not actively cheating but lets say he has no problems getting worked up by other women.
Couple B: They both have lost the drive. Why they are together who knows. But lets just say either one of them has no problems getting worked up when they see other people... The problem is that things were not good before they decided to get married..... Why they did..... who knows....
The problems don't clear up the longer you are together. They get worse.
If you are fighting, arguing about sex, money prior to getting married. Its only gonna get worse.
Dating is your opportunity to find EVERYTHING you want in a partner. There are some compromises to be made..... but make sure 4 things are relatively compatible between the two of you.......
1. Sex
2. Money
3. Kids
4. Religion. |
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| lilweiner |
quote:
Originally posted by jean-yus
what about people who dont have sex in their relationships?
I'm sure theres a few. What is it that makes their relationship hold together? I don't want to beleive hes sleeping with someone else.. but then again maybe i'm just blind.
love is blind but the neighbors aint? or something..
your sig has a spelling mistake...... and .... that cant possibly be a picture of you....can it....??? |
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| jean-yus |
for those of you that replied with helpful ideas thank-you :) I dumped his ass last night. I'm not okay with it right now, but hopefully I will be someday
and for those of you who ask if thats me in the picture, what does it matter? |
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| lilweiner |
quote:
Originally posted by jean-yus
for those of you that replied with helpful ideas thank-you :) I dumped his ass last night. I'm not okay with it right now, but hopefully I will be someday
and for those of you who ask if thats me in the picture, what does it matter?
oh just kina wondering, cause i look at alot of porn on the net and seen that pic before..... but ya.... anywayz. |
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| ae1969 |
quote:
Originally posted by lilweiner
oh just kina wondering, cause i look at alot of porn on the net and seen that pic before..... but ya.... anywayz.
ROFFFFFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLLLLllll
You kill me. :D
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Jean..... You are too young to be worried about stuff like that. Just enjoy life right now....... you have enough years ahead for headaches and stress.... :thumbup: |
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| Flex |
quote:
Originally posted by jean-yus
and for those of you who ask if thats me in the picture, what does it matter?
it doesnt really |
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| bigmack000 |
quote:
Originally posted by ae1969
Shit guys.......A lack of sex drive common amongst Rx-7 guys??? (Just kidding) :D
Honestly Jean-yus............ You are totally correct. He should respond to you. I am sure he expects you to respond when he wants to play.
Obviously he has done this more than once. Otherwise it would not be an issue.
A change in sexual drive is affected by everything I mentioned in my previous posts......... If you rule out those things you are only left with one thing.
DING. Someone else.
lol well after working 10-12 hour shifts all week and only getting 5-6 hours of sleep a night wears me out to much to care. i eat and sleep. GF doesn't like it, but if she would do girl on top then i wouldn't care cause i dont do work . but she hates that way so her fault :P |
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| jean-yus |
| boo hoo for her.. lol on tops the best.. or on the bottom.. or.. anywhere .. oops |
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| snugs |
quote:
Originally posted by jean-yus
and for those of you who ask if thats me in the picture, what does it matter?
lol, the pic is of stephanie mcmahon (vince's daughter) for all you pubescent one handed keyboarders..... :)
....and I know you dumped the guy and are younger, but for future reference there's a couple of things that you should know.
1. Men don't take hints.... we're completely immune to subtle suggestion, so if you want some you've got to literally tell the guy you want it.... and all things being fairly nomal the guy should be ok with it. ;)
Lessons 2 to 1 kerjillion will be saved for later threads. :D |
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| SketchifisT |
If sex is your main goal / focus in a relationship then it will not be a healthy one. Yes some will argue with me here, but Sex is almost always better when in a solid relationship. WHen you add sex to a good relationship it will strength it and bring you closer. Add sex to a bad relationship and it probably will cause more problems then solve them.
Main thing for sex is to communicate about it and mainly just go with the flow. For me sex has always been more of a go with the flow thing, added sometimes she really wanted it and vice versa. But yes if you cant communicate about sex, then you should not be havin it. If you cannot discuss what you would like to see happen or have happen and so forth then havin sex is not really up the right alley for you.
I am not going to get into a discussion about sex because theres a lot of different sides of the coin to this arguement. For me sex is not #1 in a relationship it is an added bonus others are different. That just what i believe and how ive grown up in the midst of what i belive. Anyways gluck to you with your new boyfriends try and get a solid relationship going first and most time the sex will be better in the long run. Im sayin this for experience myself and others sayin the same thing.
Really gluck to you, but like Terry ( Reflux ) said communication is KEY , if you dont have that then the sex will drop off probably not always but probably. But yes to a comment made earlier most time guys are good to go, especially younger guys who get hard ons from a wall that has curves in it.
That being said a guy can be havin an off day with mental issues and so forth, and yes its been proven that mental stress effects the Sex drive so it is an issue. Either way i vote communication is always key for a good sex life and gluck to you with that |
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