| qualthar |
OK guys here's the story. Basically, I have 0% success with women. If the number could go any lower, it would.
I'm not creepy, crazy, scary or any of that shit. I'm well-kept, drug free, honest, funny, successful, the list goes on like that.
Every single time I talk to a girl and think she's actually great, and get a her number, they always want to be friends. What's up with that? I don't have a problem meeting women, but the fact is that I just can't meet any ones that meet my standards (yes I have some and they're not outrageous) or they "just want to be friends"
Basically I'm asking WTF? Any advice? From the ladies too? I need all the help I can get.
Thanks |
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| Markgase2000 |
Can we ask questions to try help better?
When you "meet" women do you be straight forward mention you want to try a relationship and are interested in them? |
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| qualthar |
| Yeah I get to that part eventually, it's kinda tough to tell when it's too soon or too late. :dunno: |
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| TrevorK |
You have to act like you don't want them.
Act like you have other priorities.
If you don't believe it - try it.
I can explain further - I'm just cleaning up here at work and getting ready to go home. |
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| Markgase2000 |
| Sometimes Dave you gotta jump on it. |
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| S2KPWR |
quote:
Originally posted by TrevorK
You have to act like you don't want them.
Act like you have other priorities.
If you don't believe it - try it.
I can explain further - I'm just cleaning up here at work and getting ready to go home.
he's right.. Your probably to nice to them or too "sensitive"
Chicks are messed up, try the :asshole: approach first, then after awhile, show em you can be a nice guy too. |
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| sparkycivic |
| they can smell desperation. it s a bit like "you need money to make money" same goes for the ladies, they don't want you unless you're taken. |
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| snugs |
quote:
Originally posted by TrevorK
You have to act like you don't want them.
Act like you have other priorities.
If you don't believe it - try it.
I can explain further - I'm just cleaning up here at work and getting ready to go home.
Yup, when it seems like your time is very valuable they will think of themselves as being special because you choose to spend time with them.....
...or you're just too damn nice and don't seem to be a challenge. Women love a challenge (and/or project). :p |
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| TrevorK |
Alright, time to post a paragraph or two to elaborate.
What you need to do is always leave the girl hanging. Most guys make the mistake of, when the conversation is going good to keep going and drive it into the ground. Then you're sitting at Second Cup, and the topic is "How about that weather? Boy was that sun shining strong!" When the date comes to an end in this kind of mood/attitude, the girl can't help but think you're a bit boring. No matter what happened before, she's going to remember this.
What you need to do, is make sure to leave the conversation on a high note. When things are going good, excuse yourself because you have somewhere to be. The girl will be DYING to know how you could leave here while she's having a good time with you.
You know what this does? This makes the girl remember the last part of the date, the BEST part. She'll be left wondering "Why didn't he want to stay?", "What could he have to do that's better than talk with me?", "Does he like me?".
You might say "Bullshit Trevor, they'll just be pissed off you left them."
Take a step back, think about it. What does a good author do? Leaves you wanting me.
What about when you watch that season finale on TV, and it's a to be continued. Do you say "Fuck that, I'm not watching that show again" or do you say "Oh god, I can't wait. I'm creaming my pants in anticipation".
Exactly - you want it. Just like the girl will want you when you leave her at a high point.
If you want, I can post more tips, to help you get any girl to go out with you. |
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| RacerGirl |
okay, i am going to do the shallow girl thing here for a min. How are you dressed? Do you show confidence? What kinds of things do you say to the girls? How old are you?
you dont have to be sporting head to toe D&G to be well dressed. wear something that flatters you, and that you are comfortable in.
Don't tell them that you are looking for a relationship, you'll come off as desperate.
but on the other hand, don't be the super "nice" guy, you'll always just be a friend. Don't complain about things, don't show any insecurities.
make jokes, but not lame ones, more of the sarcastic but witty remarks. compliment her, but be specific about it. Instead of "you're hot" give her the "I like what you've done with your hair" approach.
I agree with TrevorK on the "leave her wanting more". but don't bail in the middle of a great time just to keep her guessing, she'll be annoyed. don't call too often, but don't wait 4+ days between talking to her. Do something fun. Sure, movies are nice, dinenr is nice, but leave that for a while. Start with Starbucks or coffee of some sort, go to the driving range, bowling, something that brings out the competitive side, or that you can teach her about.
okay, this is gettign too long, and I have way more, so I'll leave it for now. |
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| clapbak |
I think that a good way to win a girls heart, is to give up stuff that she dislikes, this show her that you are loyal and would purdy much do n e thing for her. Are you showing her your Intrested in going out with her? Or do you still goto the bar every friday / saturday night and get smashed. Or do you ask her out?
always worked for me..
first relationship was 1 1/2 years..
the one im in now its been 1 year 11 months |
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| PraxGTI |
Just another note:
If you have good qualities, dont bring them all out at once. Don't pull out all your cards on the table...keep her guessing, that way she will always be intrigued and trying to figure you out.
And don't do things that you wouldnt normally do, in other words, dont go crazy out of your way...they begin to expect it and when you start slackin they notice!
Oh yea, and if your trying, your trying to hard.
Good luck with the ladies!
:thumbup: |
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| TrevorK |
quote:
Originally posted by clapbak
I think that a good way to win a girls heart, is to give up stuff that she dislikes, this show her that you are loyal and would purdy much do n e thing for her.
When starting a relationship, the typical hot girl (Who has guys hit on her all day long) will use you as her "backup" if she knows she can walk all over you.
The way that the girl thinks, is that she KNOWS she has you, now she'll see if she can find something better. If she can't, she'll go out with you. But if she finds something better, you're out of the picture until needed.
Perhaps, when going after a girl who's not really sought after that strategy might work, however when going after a girl that you have to "fight" for (A lot of guys want her) then you have to stand out from the crowd, and the crowd is generally giving her everything she could possibly want. When you blend in with that "crowd" what differentiates you from them?
Perhaps I'm getting the wrong message from your post, but at the beginning of the relationship you can't let the girl think that you're all hers to do with as she pleases and that you'll bend over backwards to please you. |
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| snugs |
quote:
Originally posted by clapbak
I think that a good way to win a girls heart, is to give up stuff that she dislikes, this show her that you are loyal and would purdy much do n e thing for her.
:blink: .....wtf.....? |
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| PraxGTI |
quote:
Originally posted by TrevorK
The way that the girl thinks, is that she KNOWS she has you, now she'll see if she can find something better. If she can't, she'll go out with you. But if she finds something better, you're out of the picture until needed.
......
Perhaps I'm getting the wrong message from your post, but at the beginning of the relationship you can't let the girl think that you're all hers to do with as she pleases and that you'll bend over backwards to please you.
I am in complete and total agreement.
:thumbup: |
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| BlueTurboEGG |
Another question: Where are you looking for these "girls?"
Perhaps you're looking to find a nice girl in a crowd of "dummies" |
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| REFLUX |
Not sure how much this post will help but check it out anyways.
First one on the top:
http://forums.780tuners.com/showthr...mp;pagenumber=5
But I'd prbly edit one major point...and that is making it clear you want to date her.
Getting too close to someone without letting them know you want to be with them will slot you into the "friend" category too.
Lots of good advice has been given already, I agree with the "playing hard to get bit."
I think it would work well with strangers than with someone you've gotten to know already.
Because if you've already gotten to know a lady and you start putting her off and stuff...to me that would be rude.
But yeah, initial stages, try the hard to get bit :)
And as PraxGTI said, don't lay your life out. If you know too much about someone, what's left to talk about?
Try to talk more about current/new things with you, once something more serious is built up...that's prbly a better time to delve into the past. |
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| qualthar |
Wow you guys seem to know your stuff.. Definitely a ton of things I'll need to try.
Basically my problem is that I'm too much of a nice guy. It does nothing for me. I always would assume that nice girls would like nice guys. Not exactly the case. I'm not desparate or hunting for someone, but if I see a girl that catches my eye I'll definitely give it a shot. It never works.
Time to try something new. After all, I have nothing to lose. I'm damn tired of all the bullshit that's involved with girls, so I might as well try something new. So what if some of it may not work, it's better than what I'm doing now.
Thanks for the tips :beer: |
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| lilweiner |
| damn it man.... you have a GTR how in the hell do you have a problem with women.... |
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| seevik |
lilweiner
damn it man.... you have a GTR how in the hell do you have a problem with women....
haha thats the first thing i thought bout lol, but shit sum ppl really know there shit here lol |
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| qualthar |
quote:
Originally posted by lilweiner
damn it man.... you have a GTR how in the hell do you have a problem with women....
Nice cars can get you nice whoores, but I'm not after that. I actually have standards & morals and actually want to meet a decent girl who's smart and funny. Doesn't happen too often, as they are few and far between. :thumbup: |
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| Soulfly |
SIMPLY Put...
Nice Guys, Finish Last.
That's all there is too it.. I'm not saying Be an Asshole.. But you don't have to Charm them all the time.. :thumbup: |
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| JdmCrx |
| heh you guys are good at life. :drama: |
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| ehos |
One location boys...
.. FUNERALS.
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| Markgase2000 |
| You know what Dave , I bet you will just get drunk at a party you will find a good girl whos prolly just as frustrated as you and have lots in common. Just :beer: the brave juice and go for it. lol |
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| qualthar |
| Good thinking Mark, Saturday is my friend's gf's birthday so I'll be stumbling drunk somewhere on Whyte :thumbup: |
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| Markgase2000 |
| Go easy on the booze tho lol drink get brave start flirting its good practice. Good luck man and remember what these nice folks told you. My translation of it is get drunk have fun with meeting girls. Beer in the morning cures hangovers.:beer: |
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| qualthar |
| Oh I don't honestly expect to find anyone worthwhile on Whyte, sure there might be some decent ladies there, but that's not my mission. I'm just going to kick back and have some fun :beer: |
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| ChromeDragon |
quote:
Originally posted by TrevorK
If you want, I can post more tips, to help you get any girl to go out with you.
You had me until you drove it into the ground with this point.:p |
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| TrevorK |
quote:
Originally posted by ChromeDragon
You had me until you drove it into the ground with this point.:p
Honestly, any single girl (That's obviously interested in going out with guys) is attainable by 99% of the population. All you need to do is follow some guidelines as to how to act and your set.
I was taught the "teachings" while I went to NAIT, where when I expressed doubt I saw an average looking guy prove me wrong again and again day after day.
Anytime I've tried it, it's yet to fail. And I'm not anywhere close to good looking - yet it works on any hot available chick I've tried it on.
It's the thinking that "she's out of my league" that puts you 10 steps back from getting her. Any girl is in your league. How come you think you always see average looking guys with the hot girl? It's all about player the girl the way she really wants to be played. |
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| red88.n/a.rx |
| so lets hear this stuff playa playa lol |
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| ae1969 |
quote:
Originally posted by qualthar
..........but the fact is that I just can't meet any ones that meet my standards (yes I have some and they're not outrageous) .........
Well you have been given a lot of good advice on how to meet/approach someone.......
I truly also believe any woman is attainable under the right circumstances and situations.
The point is to get yourself in those situations.
The first thing I noticed with your post was the above statement. The first thing you need to clear from your head ......... is that statement.
I think what people don't realize is that dating is like training for that 'ONE SHOT'. This is the time to date anyone and everyone...... No one is below your league, beneath your league or out of it.
I would not waste my time waiting for that one girl who fits all of your requirements........ cause when she does cross your path.....someone else who has enough 'training' willl snap her up from under you.
I am far from the best looking guy in the world but I have been around the block enough to realize that no one is out of my league. The more you date........the more confidence you will gain..... |
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| REFLUX |
As much as I agree with everyone in saying that any guy can get any girl, I can't help but feel that there is an unspoken message being broadcasted.
That just because a guy can get a girl, doesn't mean he should get all cocky with himself and start thinking, "Screw her, I'll do whatever the hell I want cuz I can get any girl. I don't need to consider her. Me me me me me."
Basically what I'm saying is, don't be so down & hard on yourself in thinking someone is "out of your league" but also don't think you're God's gift to women.
Be confident and modest.
Just because you have a dick doesnt' mean you have a right to be cocky. ;) |
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| TrevorK |
quote:
Originally posted by red88.n/a.rx
so lets hear this stuff playa playa lol
Sure, let me rant about compliments.
Let me lay the groudwork with basic human theories:
1) We don't always know what we want. Happens all the time - you think you want something, but are unsure of whether it's what you really want.
2) We don't want to tell others what we want all the time. How often have you thought of something you wanted, but afraid to tell someone? All the time - your thought might not be considered "proper" by the people around you, so you hide it.
3) I'm talk about the girl you approach - not the love of your life you've been going out with for 4 years.
Now, am I saying that women don't like to be complimented? No - I think all women like to be complimented because it's a big ego boost for them. Let's face it - if a girl hears enough "your ass is so fine" then she's going to think she has a sweet ass. Just like if you get a lot of people saying "Damn, that ride of yours is sweet" - you're going to think your ride is fairly nice, right?
Try it sometime - we've done it before just to see if it would work. We took a girl, commented on her beautiful ass on the time. Within a couple weeks, she acted completely different, would bend over more, even made comments like "I think he's checking out my ass" that she never would have made before. And you know what? Whereas before she'd be noticeably flattered at our comments, she now changed to taking it as routine. The exact same thing happens to an actual hot chick who gets complimented all the time.
Here's where the problem is - the hot chick get's hit on every day - you are fighting for her attention with many other guys. Do you know what most guys do? "Wow, that's a beautiful smile you have there to go with those amazing eyes."
What does this do? This feeds the ego of the woman. Then she brushes you off. Why? Because you've given her the ego boost, she has everything you wants out of you, and now that you've proven yourself like every other guy, you're done.
What you try to do (And this is a recurring theme) is to be different than every other guy. You don't want her to lump you in with all the other rejects. Do something different, do something unexpected. As long as it's humourous, you're set. Even if you poke fun at the girl, provided it's in good taste, you're in.
As well, sometimes when a woman hears a compliment they subconsciously feel like the man may be intimidated by them - the old "she's out of your league" logic. This is engrained into the minds of everything - how often does a buddy say "Fuck she's hot" followed by "She's so out of my league".
Here's a great one I've tried (After a buddy showed me)- I saw a girl, who had spilled her drink on her table at school and obviously needed to clean it, and her books up . So I notice she has no napkins, looking frustrated. So I grab the napkins I had, walk over and say "Here, I think you need these more than I do" and walk away. The whole time I was eating my fajita, this girl was giving me the eye.
So I finish, get up, and as I'm getting up, she's glancing over wondering if I'm coming by. But do I? No. I go, grab some napkins, walk up behind her, and say "In case you run into another emergancy, I thought I'd bring you these." She laughs, I sit down, we talk for about an hour (While she misses her class).
Remember, this applies to woman you want to go out with, not women you have a steady relationship with. Once you're in a steady relationship, by all means loosen up a bit. But that's not the hard part for most - the hard part is just getting a date.
And yes - there are way more of these examples out there that really help you understand how to reach a woman and understand them. I'm a little rusty, since I haven't had to use one in years, but they do work. I'm sure there are a tonne of books on this subject....If not, I'll get writing :) |
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| TrevorK |
quote:
Originally posted by REFLUX
That just because a guy can get a girl, doesn't mean he should get all cocky with himself and start thinking, "Screw her, I'll do whatever the hell I want cuz I can get any girl. I don't need to consider her. Me me me me me."
It's funny - because it's the exact same with women. If you listen to them, they know they can always get what they want.....In a way, it's playing their own game :)
I'm not for screwing them over, just pointing out that what you stated is the way a lot of women treat men. |
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| JdmCrx |
| Man this stuff is hard.. i'm just gonna stick with cars, food and beer. :beer: |
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| qualthar |
quote:
Originally posted by JdmCrx
Man this stuff is hard.. i'm just gonna stick with cars, food and beer. :beer:
Oh come on.. I'm gonna go with this. Trevor, and the rest of you, I really appreciate the advice. Time to put it to the test :thumbup: |
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| JdmCrx |
quote:
Originally posted by qualthar
Oh come on.. I'm gonna go with this. Trevor, and the rest of you, I really appreciate the advice. Time to put it to the test :thumbup:
haha well that's good.. just i think i need to focus on myself and things i want.. before trying to meet someone else's needs.. know what i mean. :beer: |
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| Markgase2000 |
| Dave is gonna get laid :) go dave! |
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| PraxGTI |
| With all the games involved, its a wonder we survive as a species! |
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| seevik |
| shit son, im writin all this shit in my journal |
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| bigmack000 |
| the secret is nexopia.com |
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| Markgase2000 |
| The secret is follow your pecker and do what it wants not what Mr.Good wants............ |
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| JdmCrx |
quote:
Originally posted by Markgase2000
The secret is follow your pecker and do what it wants not what Mr.Good wants............
yea.. your an idiot. |
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| Markgase2000 |
quote:
Originally posted by JdmCrx
yea.. your an idiot.
Hahahahaha :lol:
Good on ya son. :thumbup: |
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| Markgase2000 |
quote:
Originally posted by JdmCrx
Man this stuff is hard.. i'm just gonna stick with cars, food and beer. :beer:
You lied! |
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| Markgase2000 |
quote:
Originally posted by JdmCrx
haha well that's good.. just i think i need to focus on myself and things i want.. before trying to meet someone else's needs.. know what i mean. :beer:
I do and good luck to you aswell.
:) sall good as you young people say these days. |
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| RacerGirl |
you make it sound like you're soo old Mark!
basically, be yourself, but dont reveal too much. don't sleep with them on the first date, hold open doors, remember your manners, and relax. |
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| midnite |
quote:
Originally posted by qualthar
Oh I don't honestly expect to find anyone worthwhile on Whyte, sure there might be some decent ladies there, but that's not my mission. I'm just going to kick back and have some fun :beer:
arn't you worthwhile and on whyte? i'm sure there are worthwhile women too! one thing i've noticed about every girl i've met:
i was not trying to find anyone at the time, i was having fun, enjoying and being myself. it's as if they were the one who found me.
of course you have to be in a situation where they can meet you, so get out and be sociable and have no expectations because it happens when you least expect it. |
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| LudeDude19 |
ugh..i read this whole thread and it was rather depressing.. i'm also no ugly mofo and i'm also not "mr. hot". i just keep telling myself "she's uot of my league, she's way too hot" so i settle for the decent girls..
i think its easier when girls approach me, (which is rarely) because then you KNOW she's interested and you KNOW she thinks you're cute. but if you approach the girl, you are thinking "does she dig me, does she think i'm cute or should i walk away and save myself the embarassment?"
i am one of the shyest guys lately, there are only ever a few nights where i can go out and approach girls/dance and feel really confident. most of the time i go out, stay back and watch < (but not he creepy kind) and end up going home to the twins:rolleyes:
i have a really hard time goign up to a girl and thinking of more to say then "hey, how's it going?"...well only if SHE can't keep the converstaion going. like when you go up to a cutie and start talkign and she has nothing to say but one word answers
damn..anyways, i wonder how i'll do tonight. i gave up drinking til new years so i'm d-ding for my buddy |
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| qualthar |
quote:
Originally posted by midnite
arn't you worthwhile and on whyte? i'm sure there are worthwhile women too! one thing i've noticed about every girl i've met:
i was not trying to find anyone at the time, i was having fun, enjoying and being myself. it's as if they were the one who found me.
of course you have to be in a situation where they can meet you, so get out and be sociable and have no expectations because it happens when you least expect it.
Haha you kinda misinterpreted my post, but I could have been more clear. I'm not saying that there's no worthwhile girls on Whyte, but I'm just going to have a good time. I'm not going to try hard to find someone, that never works. Besides, I'm lazy too :thumbup: |
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| tokes |
| I know exactly how you feel. I met a girl at the bus stop, of all places, in mid September-ish. She hangs around at school for several hours after she's out to hang out with me and catch a late bus home, goes to school early to catch the bus with me, ditches her group of ~10 friends going to the bar to go to a small club on whyte with me, stuff like this and just how she acts around me makes it pretty obvious how into me she is. I coaxed out her on Friday how she feels about me, and then she gives it to me saturday morning. "I meant what I said, but I don't want to mess up out friendship by going any further" :confused: You like me. I like you. Are we still in Jr. High School here, can't act on how we actually feel? I'm with jdmcrx, giving up on this women shit, just sticking to cars, beer, and hockey. |
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| REFLUX |
quote:
Originally posted by TrevorK
It's funny - because it's the exact same with women. If you listen to them, they know they can always get what they want.....In a way, it's playing their own game :)
I'm not for screwing them over, just pointing out that what you stated is the way a lot of women treat men.
Haha I wasn't disagreeing with you Trevor :)
It was just a word of caution.
Of course both guys & girls can be selfish, I just wanted to let whoever's taking the advice know that they should use some restraint too. |
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| Transporter |
quote:
Originally posted by qualthar
Good thinking Mark, Saturday is my friend's gf's birthday so I'll be stumbling drunk somewhere on Whyte :thumbup:
i highly don't recommend this mode for him.. he strangely confuses guys for girls and it is very creepy
u creepy me out dave
hope u had fun at party see ya at wings nite |
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| qualthar |
| Haha I totally forgot you were there man! I'll be there tomorrow, a little less wasted this time :beer: |
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| Markgase2000 |
:dunno: well at least he knows how to get drunk haha :)
So Dave was hitting on anything that moves huh? At least hes fully cocked lol! Keep at er Dave only dont drink to the point you see double ok :thumbup: |
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| lilweiner |
| ummm i dont like this... a whole bunch of guys sayin that they are giving up on women. i dont like the sounds of this.... great now we gotta start tapin up are asses when we go to the UC meets next year... |
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| qualthar |
quote:
Originally posted by lilweiner
ummm i dont like this... a whole bunch of guys sayin that they are giving up on women. i dont like the sounds of this.... great now we gotta start tapin up are asses when we go to the UC meets next year...
That was only a couple people you fool, learn to read :lol: Is someone having optimistically gay thoughts? :dunno: :p |
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| Transporter |
| this topic is so much fun. .. to read |
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| PraxGTI |
quote:
Originally posted by TrevorK
I'm not for screwing them over, just pointing out that what you stated is the way a lot of women treat men.
A really good looking woman can walk into any bar, walk up to any single guy, shake her ass a little, be playful, and BOOM she has the guys complete and utmost attention, and then if she wants to control him all she has to do is ignore him a bit till he breaks.
A guy can't do that. Lots of women wont even give a guy the time of day.
Now something else I have been pondering. I believe that men are more "I want to find 1 woman for the rest of my life" then women are for 1 man. Now don't get me wrong, if a woman loves a man, she is devoted...however, if the woman isnt COMPLETELY devoted to you, even the slightest, she will still consider other options.
I think this is due to womens natural instinct to find a "strong and healthy mate" in order to bear strong and healthy children...men dont have that instinct to that extent.
As much as we are evoloving as a species, our natural instincts and hormones still play a huge factor in our attractions and choice of mate.
JMO. |
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| TrevorK |
quote:
Originally posted by PraxGTI
Now something else I have been pondering. I believe that men are more "I want to find 1 woman for the rest of my life" then women are for 1 man. Now don't get me wrong, if a woman loves a man, she is devoted...however, if the woman isnt COMPLETELY devoted to you, even the slightest, she will still consider other options.
I think this is due to womens natural instinct to find a "strong and healthy mate" in order to bear strong and healthy children...men dont have that instinct to that extent.
As much as we are evoloving as a species, our natural instincts and hormones still play a huge factor in our attractions and choice of mate.
JMO.
I think what you're seeing is confidence.
Most women have the confidence (Created in part by men drooling over them daily, even when they're not attractive combined with a whack of other factors) that they can find the best possible man anytime. Let's face it, the perception of society is that it's the man chasing the woman, and the woman always has many men chasing her. And that's the way it plays out most times.
Meanwhile, men don't feel they can always get with the hotties, so they find themselves settling down more with a mate because they are content and may not feel they can do any better. You always hear "out of my league" when talking to guys....With thinking like that, it's no wonder they don't do well if they approach a girl.
This is the general rule for most men. When men play the dating game right, with their confidence high, they behave the same way. However, most men don't have a high level of actual confidence (Not like they'll admit it) when it comes to women. Therefore when they get one, they hold on to her for fear of losing her, and not being able to find another. |
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| PraxGTI |
quote:
Originally posted by TrevorK
This is the general rule for most men. When men play the dating game right, with their confidence high, they behave the same way. However, most men don't have a high level of actual confidence (Not like they'll admit it) when it comes to women. Therefore when they get one, they hold on to her for fear of losing her, and not being able to find another.
True true, but put another way, if a woman is interested in a guy, but his confidence is high...if she doesnt want to work at it, she can take the guy to his left that looks just as good, but lacks confidence (easy to control). Sure some women like the confident men, this is also true...
Its a heck of a game out there to play. At this point its just startin to get fun! :thumbup: |
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| snugs |
quote:
Originally posted by PraxGTI
A really good looking woman can walk into any bar, walk up to any single guy, shake her ass a little, be playful, and BOOM she has the guys complete and utmost attention, and then if she wants to control him all she has to do is ignore him a bit till he breaks.
lol, take this as incontrovertible proof that most men are incredibly stupid..... good thing most women are just as dumb. :p |
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| TrevorK |
quote:
Originally posted by PraxGTI
True true, but put another way, if a woman is interested in a guy, but his confidence is high...if she doesnt want to work at it, she can take the guy to his left that looks just as good, but lacks confidence (easy to control). Sure some women like the confident men, this is also true...
Its a heck of a game out there to play. At this point its just startin to get fun! :thumbup:
Women want to be controlled - provided the man is confident and not arrogant/ego-maniac, he'll do more than fine.Any woman that goes after a man to control him is just waiting for a man to control her to come along.
Confident man = challenge for women, which they die for.
Where the confident man shines is during the first conversation. An unconfident man will keep complimenting the girl, acting shy, etc.... The confident man will keep everything under control. With the unconfident man, the girl knows she has him as a backup for the confident man. She wants the confident man because she's stuck wondering why he didn't treat her like the unconfident man.
Now if the majority of men were confident, this wouldn't work. But the vast majority of men are unconfident, and this plays right into it.
You're right though - it's one big game. And definetely a lot of fun! |
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| REFLUX |
I sense a bit of negative female bias going on here ;)
If you want to talk evolution, both Males & Females wish to find the best mate to have their children.
Females want a strong/healthy Male so their offspring will carry "good genes" and also so the Male can protect the Female & his offspring.
Males want a strong/healthy Female so their offspring will carry "good genes" and also so the Female can actually give birth to the offspring. Not to mention provide good caring & etc.
Not to say that Females only do Maternal things and Males only do Paternal things (physical protection) but it is one aspect.
Basically what I'm trying to say is that the "game" swings both ways.
Women aren't the only sex that desires a confident partner.
I sure as hell wouldn't want a girlfriend who's a pushover and just stands around waiting to rub my back.
That's not a girlfriend, that's a slave. |
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| PraxGTI |
quote:
Originally posted by REFLUX
I sure as hell wouldn't want a girlfriend who's a pushover and just stands around waiting to rub my back.
That's not a girlfriend, that's a slave.
Exactly, a relationship is a mutual thing. Living and working together to support eachother as a team. Each ones strengths working to battle eachothers weaknesses in search of happiness and a good life.
If it is to one sided, or either one is a pushover, chances are one or the other will not truly be happy.
Some guys look for the one night stand, or the easy wham bam for a couple months, then on to something new...but there are quite a few of us looking for something real and longlasting. |
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| tegGSR |
| hey TrevorK, do you have any pointers etc to get more confident? i am impressed with how your advice has worked lol..i meet girls but theyre always either "friends" or easy girls that i wouldnt date ever....so some advice for getting more confident and going after decent girls would help :thumbup: |
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| REFLUX |
^^^
I say just believe in yourself and Be Yourself.
Don't be someone you aren't.
Desperation is something so potent that it can be smelled...and it isn't a nice smell.
quote:
To become different from what we are, we must have some awareness of what we are.
Whether this being different results in dissimulation or a real change of heart, it cannot
be realized without self-awareness. Yet, it is remarkable that the very people who are
most self-dissatisfied, who crave most for a new identity, have the least self-awareness.
They have turned away from an unwanted self and, hence, never had a good look at it.
The result is that most dissatisfied people can neither dissimulate nor attain a real change of heart. They are transparent and their unwanted qualities persist through all
attempts at self-dramatization and self-transformation. It is the lack of self-awareness
which renders us transparent. The souls that knows itself is opaque
--Bruce Lee
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| tokes |
| Bruce Lee is deep, deep like the ocean :D |
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| TrevorK |
quote:
Originally posted by tegGSR
hey TrevorK, do you have any pointers etc to get more confident? i am impressed with how your advice has worked lol..i meet girls but theyre always either "friends" or easy girls that i wouldnt date ever....so some advice for getting more confident and going after decent girls would help :thumbup:
One way to get more confident is go after girls you are sure you can go out with.
Obviously right now, you feel as if some girls are "out of your league" and that you don't think you have a shot. So let's build up your confidence by talking to girls that you may consider "in your league".
Do this - for the next 2 weeks, hit up 3-5 girls each week that you consider "below your league" - you don't have to marry them. Talk to them, flirt with them, practice your moves on them, go to coffee with them. This will give you some practice and make you more comfortable talking with girls. After this two week period, if you feel more comfortable slowly start moving up the chain until you hit the hotties. But if at that point you still don't feel confidence, keeping working on the same girls.
It's easy to sit here and say "be confident" but the ONLY way to become confident is to believe it. The only way to believe you are confident is to practice it - even if it means going after girls you don't necessarily want to, because afterall, girls are girls and the practice you'll get from them will help you with all girls. |
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| Markgase2000 |
| Whats wrong with easy girls? They know what they want and thats all that matters. So long as they are smart enough to wear protection. They tend to be alot more fun than prissy girls. You never know you/she may fall in love. Nothing wrong with women who enjoy sex :dunno: I think it is healthy. |
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| tokes |
quote:
Originally posted by Markgase2000
Whats wrong with easy girls? They know what they want and thats all that matters. So long as they are smart enough to wear protection. They tend to be alot more fun than prissy girls. You never know you/she may fall in love. Nothing wrong with women who enjoy sex :dunno: I think it is healthy.
lol, I don't think he's talking about girls that are "easy", just girls that are less physically attractive than you would consider to be a hottie. I'm not great at making the first move, but I always just feel so uncomfortable trying to move in on an ugly chick, even if I'm doing it to ride wingman for a buddy. |
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| Markgase2000 |
| Less atractive as in how? |
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| PraxGTI |
quote:
Originally posted by tokes
lol, I don't think he's talking about girls that are "easy", just girls that are less physically attractive than you would consider to be a hottie. I'm not great at making the first move, but I always just feel so uncomfortable trying to move in on an ugly chick, even if I'm doing it to ride wingman for a buddy.
I agree, any chick I go out with has to at least take as good care of herself as I do myself. Also Ugly chicks are out. I want a woman I can feel good to be in public with. I am sorry, but if some girls genetics made her born with what I call "horse mouth" or her nose is on her forehead or some shit, count me out. |
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| Markgase2000 |
Good point no sense in chasing a Quasimotto right?
But say a chick has a gut or kinda a big ass but is still pretty cute. Would you do her? I had gf all shapes and sizes many many gf before meeting my so. Prolly lets say around 30. I fooled around with all but 2. The funnest ones were the bit of a gut bit of extra on there ass. They feel good about themselves and that made them alot more attractive then the china doll types with shapely boobs and "proportioned" round ass. The "HOT" ones were kinda prissy and tough to lay down. They also had more "I look fat" issues even tho they looked like runway chicks.The bottom line is they looked decent took good care of themselves. Im not sayin I dont have morals I just dont judge a girl by how perfect she looks. I went for it that way and got tons of sexual experience out the deal :)
Now I met my so when she was skinny now shes got a lil gut and a booty butt. I think its cute and I tap it hapilly lol! She still looks great naked aswell! :) Just sayin is all. Oh and the personality can affect how you look about a chick big butted gutted aswell , if you talk it may change your feelings your outlook on her and you prolly get super horny over her too. |
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| ae1969 |
quote:
Originally posted by TrevorK
One way to get more confident is go after girls you are sure you can go out with.
Obviously right now, you feel as if some girls are "out of your league" and that you don't think you have a shot. So let's build up your confidence by talking to girls that you may consider "in your league".
Do this - for the next 2 weeks, hit up 3-5 girls each week that you consider "below your league" - you don't have to marry them. Talk to them, flirt with them, practice your moves on them, go to coffee with them. This will give you some practice and make you more comfortable talking with girls. After this two week period, if you feel more comfortable slowly start moving up the chain until you hit the hotties. But if at that point you still don't feel confidence, keeping working on the same girls.
It's easy to sit here and say "be confident" but the ONLY way to become confident is to believe it. The only way to believe you are confident is to practice it - even if it means going after girls you don't necessarily want to, because afterall, girls are girls and the practice you'll get from them will help you with all girls.
Will you quit revealing all the secrets............ :thumbup:
Oh man does trevor have to spell things out to you guys........
The term "below your league" has nothing to do with looks/brains/personality of the female that Trevor is asking you to "try" and date........
The idea is that the problem lies in "YOU". The problem is lack of confidence. HE is trying to set up a scenario where your blood pressure won't sky rocket.... you won't begin to sweat like a pig........a situation where you WILL LEARN TO BE AND ACT like yourself......... BUILD some condifence.
You must learn to walk before you run...... |
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| Markgase2000 |
Awesome well put sir! I wish I could simply say things in a sensable manner like that then the hardway of telling stories and what not!
I agree with ae1969 and TrevK and Prax. |
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| TrevorK |
quote:
Originally posted by ae1969
Will you quit revealing all the secrets............ :thumbup:
Oh man does trevor have to spell things out to you guys........
The term "below your league" has nothing to do with looks/brains/personality of the female that Trevor is asking you to "try" and date........
The idea is that the problem lies in "YOU". The problem is lack of confidence. HE is trying to set up a scenario where your blood pressure won't sky rocket.... you won't begin to sweat like a pig........a situation where you WILL LEARN TO BE AND ACT like yourself......... BUILD some condifence.
You must learn to walk before you run......
I'm glad someone understands the teachings.
Maybe we should be writing a book? |
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| icydude |
quote:
Originally posted by qualthar
OK guys here's the story. Basically, I have 0% success with women. If the number could go any lower, it would.
I'm not creepy, crazy, scary or any of that shit. I'm well-kept, drug free, honest, funny, successful, the list goes on like that.
Every single time I talk to a girl and think she's actually great, and get a her number, they always want to be friends. What's up with that? I don't have a problem meeting women, but the fact is that I just can't meet any ones that meet my standards (yes I have some and they're not outrageous) or they "just want to be friends"
Basically I'm asking WTF? Any advice? From the ladies too? I need all the help I can get.
Thanks
the key tips Dave!
1. Drive the Celica everywhere, summer time too, chicks dig hot cars.:bowdown:
2. pick your nose
3. fart, burp, dont shower, any combination of those will work.
4. be a push over:rolleyes:
you cant fail now Dave:thumbup: |
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| sleeper_ |
my tips or tip:
go to calgary!
fack! there are so many chicks there :blink:
I was just there this past weekend and at their afterhours club, the warehouse, i was just standing with a buddy of mine standing at the edge of the dance floor dancing whenever we felt like it (we can dance) and chat of course. I kid you not, at LEAST 15 girls throughout the night were giving us the eye and wanted us to talk to them, but we simply wouldn't give them the time of day, hahaha. At the end of the night i simply asked one girl if there was an "afterparty" and well, the rest is history, LOL. My buddy and I had to pick which girls we wanted to "satisfy" hahaha. The girls were extremely obvious at showing that they're interested, but they won't actually hit on you because they expect you to talk to them first, but do they ever flaunt and try hard to display themselves to you, lol. Be confident, hold your ground, have a good time, be funny, be unassuming, and be coy (variation of hard to get idea). All these things have managed to help me meet ladies *grin*.
oh, and did i mention, go to calgary! lol (must be the out of town/different appeal at work, and there really are more hot girls!) |
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| jean-yus |
quote:
Originally posted by sleeper_
my tips or tip:
go to calgary!
fack! there are so many chicks there :blink:
I was just there this past weekend and at their afterhours club, the warehouse, i was just standing with a buddy of mine standing at the edge of the dance floor dancing whenever we felt like it (we can dance) and chat of course. I kid you not, at LEAST 15 girls throughout the night were giving us the eye and wanted us to talk to them, but we simply wouldn't give them the time of day, hahaha. At the end of the night i simply asked one girl if there was an "afterparty" and well, the rest is history, LOL. My buddy and I had to pick which girls we wanted to "satisfy" hahaha. The girls were extremely obvious at showing that they're interested, but they won't actually hit on you because they expect you to talk to them first, but do they ever flaunt and try hard to display themselves to you, lol. Be confident, hold your ground, have a good time, be funny, be unassuming, and be coy (variation of hard to get idea). All these things have managed to help me meet ladies *grin*.
oh, and did i mention, go to calgary! lol (must be the out of town/different appeal at work, and there really are more hot girls!)
glad to hear you treat hoes with the respect they deserve |
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| CanadianSkyline |
Just go up to a girl, and repeat this line.
"Hi, im Qualthar from 780tuners.com, gtrcanada, and necc.com, you might remember me from such threads as......(insert threads that you have made contributions to here)"
You'll have that girl saying "i do" in no time......
:lol: |
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| qualthar |
quote:
Originally posted by icydude
the key tips Dave!
1. Drive the Celica everywhere, summer time too, chicks dig hot cars.:bowdown:
2. pick your nose
3. fart, burp, dont shower, any combination of those will work.
4. be a push over:rolleyes:
you cant fail now Dave:thumbup:
So that's how you get all the 12 year old girls! Thanks Damien :lol: |
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| SketchifisT |
The secret is there is no secret. A lot of these tips work great and will have you pickin up a chick in no time, but also it all depends on what you want.
Best advice is to be yourself and mix in what the others have said. Cut the conversation if its going south. Act like you get girls all the time, or if you want to do what others do, act like girls bash you all the time. Theres convidence and pity , both work in the end, however if you are in the middle road its deemed unacceptable.
In the end be yourself and you will find yourself in a better spot then tryin to be someone your not. Not all girls fall for the same stuff, some girls are just nutty, The movie Hitch is a good example.
One time i wasn't even tryin to pick up a girl we just bumped into each other at the mall at 2 different stores then she over heard me talkin to someone else about hockey and she absolutely loved hockey and bam we hit it off.
Either way in the end , be yourself with addin in any advice you think will work. If the girl is not really intrested playing super hard to get wont work. She has to bite first so dont think if you say Hi to a girl and walk away she will be runnin over to you with her number.
gluck and my best advice is, if you want a good relationship , most time going to a bar and get sloshed will not net you the best catch, but hell you never know. |
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