| What should I do? - Click HERE for Original Thread |
| azian.boi |
Hi guys, i've been on this site for quite a while usually looking at the cars but i've just recently noticed this forum :D
In a way i guess you can say i have this problem... Sad to say but I'm still in Junior High! But anyways back to topic, i just met this girl that i really like and she likes me too, except the sad part is that she was an exchange girl from china (lets call her cathy)... and i live in canada :( right now we are having a long distance relationship, we talk on the phone once a week and email etc. well cathy isnt doing too well in school right now since last year because she use to be top 2 student in the school for her grade but now she isnt even top 10 in her class which to me is really bad... i know im still young and all and i have like alot of time and shit to start all over again but i really like cathy. when i heard she was getting bad marks it felt like everything was my fault and on her trip to canada she had 2 bad days and it was because of me, i was thinking about breaking up with her so she can study and work harder on her grades and maybe i can visit her in spring when students from my school goes to her school, ive been thinking and crying for about a week (im a very emtional guy) and i finally got to phone her at the end of the week, i told her about what i thought and the first thing she said was " i havent even thought about breaking up with you and im the one thats getting the bad grades how could you have thought about it?!?!" and she got really mad so i explained to her what i thought of our relationship as to affecting our lives, in the end she considered it but was still dissappointed. last week i tried to phone her but only her parents picked up and said she was at school, this week i phoned her again and samething... do you think she is ignoring me?
i need some advice please... i dont know what to do and i love this girl :( |
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| TrevorK |
quote:
Originally posted by azian.boi
i need some advice please... i dont know what to do and i love this girl :(
You're way too young for a long distance relationship. |
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| BlueTurboEGG |
You can't really choose the people you fall in love with either :)
Give her a little bit of space, then try again. When you do, be sure to mention that you are worried about her and her recent performance in class.
I'd hardley think emailing and talking on the phone once or twice a week would cause that much of a drop in grades, so just ask and listen next time.
With a little patience, answers will come to you. ;) |
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| azian.boi |
quote:
Originally posted by TrevorK
You're way too young for a long distance relationship.
Thanks for the ADVICE there. |
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| azian.boi |
quote:
Originally posted by BlueTurboEGG
You can't really choose the people you fall in love with either :)
Give her a little bit of space, then try again. When you do, be sure to mention that you are worried about her and her recent performance in class.
I'd hardley think emailing and talking on the phone once or twice a week would cause that much of a drop in grades, so just ask and listen next time.
With a little patience, answers will come to you. ;)
Thanks I'll try that next time I call her :) |
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| azian.boi |
| oh yeah she also thinks about me alot in class... but i guess its not her fault since i do too, and my teacher hit me once with his keys because i was day dreaming :D |
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| 2003specv |
Agreed. When I was 15 I had a girlfriend in BC (her family moved away from here) and we lasted a year and a half. I worked all the time I could to save up for airplane tickets and phone bills, and in the end it was just too far. I couldn't take not seeing the person I loved.
As much as it hurts to think about it, I would suggest you end it. China is a LONG way away. Realisticaly how often do you see the two of you getting together.
You know it's funny at your age things like this seem like you'll never get over it. Trust me, in 10 years (which will go VERY fast) this will all seem very inconsequential. It's tough to get over that first love though. I'll admit I spent a few nights as a teenager crying just thinking I would give anything to be with this girl.
Good luck. Your post brought back some memories.:tear: :) |
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| azian.boi |
quote:
Originally posted by 2003specv
Agreed. When I was 15 I had a girlfriend in BC (her family moved away from here) and we lasted a year and a half. I worked all the time I could to save up for airplane tickets and phone bills, and in the end it was just too far. I couldn't take not seeing the person I loved.
As much as it hurts to think about it, I would suggest you end it. China is a LONG way away. Realisticaly how often do you see the two of you getting together.
You know it's funny at your age things like this seem like you'll never get over it. Trust me, in 10 years (which will go VERY fast) this will all seem very inconsequential. It's tough to get over that first love though. I'll admit I spent a few nights as a teenager crying just thinking I would give anything to be with this girl.
Good luck. Your post brought back some memories.:tear: :)
Nice to know im not the only one that felt this way : ) I probably wont give up yet... since my parents are willing to pay for my to go back to china in the spring time and i usually go back to china in the summer time so i might be able to see her then too but yeah... i know how you felt and i know how im feeling right now... we felt the same way but i guess thats life eh?but trust me... 10 years isnt going to go by fast... since only 14 years of my life has gone by so far :D still young but first love is always the hardest as i was told hopefully things will go well. Thanks for telling me your little story, made me felt a bit better in a way : ) appreciate it. |
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| 2003specv |
quote:
Originally posted by azian.boi
but trust me... 10 years isnt going to go by fast... since only 14 years of my life has gone by so far :D
Haha, no you trust me, it will fly by. I'm 24 now and I'm wondering where the years went. Ask any mid 20's person, it flies! You'll see......;) |
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| azian.boi |
| haha too bad im not 20... oh wellz dont want to be 20 yet still want to go through my rough teenager life before i hit adult hood but the good thing i like about canada is i get to drive already! except with my parents beside me i got me learners : D but yeah... it seemed like it flew by once you reach 20 but it seems like it took forever since i was a baby to reach a teenager :( |
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| DelSoln |
quote:
Originally posted by 2003specv
Haha, no you trust me, it will fly by. I'm 24 now and I'm wondering where the years went. Ask any mid 20's person, it flies! You'll see......;)
This man speaks the truth. :( |
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| azian.boi |
quote:
Originally posted by DelSoln
This man speaks the truth. :(
lol He may speak the truth but I won't understand it until I'm in my mid 20's |
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| lilweiner |
quote:
Originally posted by azian.boi
haha too bad im not 20...
Dont rush the day, boy. |
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| Kiddo |
| live it up your still young. give the relationship sometime but don't ever stop communicating your problems with her.. and trust me you don't wanna wish you were 20... well atleast I think so. haha I'm 20 and damn what I would give to be back in high school. So much pressure right now about "the future" and my remaining 2 years of post secondary |
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| TrevorK |
quote:
Originally posted by azian.boi
Thanks for the ADVICE there.
That's the best ADVICE you'll get.
Take a step back and think about it.
How are you going to make a relationship work with someone who is on a different continent? Combine that with it occurring during the time when your (And her's) hormones are raging causing all sorts of sexual frustration. What do you have?
Even if you can visit her for 4 weeks out of the year, what are you going to do for the other 48? Sit around depressed and crying that she's not there?
By all means, keep in contact with her. Stay friends with her. Then if there comes a time when the two of you can be together (You move there or she moves here) you can then see if you / her want to resume the relationship. |
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| azian.boi |
quote:
Originally posted by TrevorK
That's the best ADVICE you'll get.
Take a step back and think about it.
How are you going to make a relationship work with someone who is on a different continent? Combine that with it occurring during the time when your (And her's) hormones are raging causing all sorts of sexual frustration. What do you have?
Even if you can visit her for 4 weeks out of the year, what are you going to do for the other 48? Sit around depressed and crying that she's not there?
By all means, keep in contact with her. Stay friends with her. Then if there comes a time when the two of you can be together (You move there or she moves here) you can then see if you / her want to resume the relationship.
Hey buddy I'm trying to look for some ADVICE that will help me out/through this rough stage of my life, I don't need some guy acting like my mom giving me a lecture on what I should do, even though it's your opinoin of what I should do I don't want to here it kay? I just want to see what other people have to say. |
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| ae1969 |
quote:
Originally posted by azian.boi
Hey buddy I'm trying to look for some ADVICE that will help me out/through this rough stage of my life, I don't need some guy acting like my mom giving me a lecture on what I should do, even though it's your opinoin of what I should do I don't want to here it kay? I just want to see what other people have to say.
Uhmmm he did give you the best advice........
are you looking for advice......... or someone to agree with you?
:blink: |
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| azian.boi |
quote:
Originally posted by ae1969
Uhmmm he did give you the best advice........
are you looking for advice......... or someone to agree with you?
:blink:
Not everyone thinks the same way... if you haven't noticed that might be the best advice to you but not everyone else and if I wanted someone to agree with me... I would tell them how "I" personally feel about the problem I am having.:blink: |
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| qualthar |
quote:
Originally posted by azian.boi
Hey buddy I'm trying to look for some ADVICE that will help me out/through this rough stage of my life, I don't need some guy acting like my mom giving me a lecture on what I should do, even though it's your opinoin of what I should do I don't want to here it kay? I just want to see what other people have to say.
I know what you're going through, myself and I would only assume a fair amount of other members have dealt with this. Even if she's the best girl for you in the world, it's a waste of your youth to wait however many years for her. If she ever comes back or if you move there, by all means you should see what happens.
Long-distance relationships are extremely hard to deal with. My best advice is to keep yourself busy, don't just mope around all the time thinking about her and *sigh* how wonderful life would be if she was here. Go out and meet new people, you never know, you could be missing out on some awesome girls just because you're fixated on her.
I know it's the last thing you want to hear, but it's the honest truth. It's very hard to do, but in the long run you'll understand how silly these things can be. |
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| azian.boi |
quote:
Originally posted by qualthar
I know what you're going through, myself and I would only assume a fair amount of other members have dealt with this. Even if she's the best girl for you in the world, it's a waste of your youth to wait however many years for her. If she ever comes back or if you move there, by all means you should see what happens.
Long-distance relationships are extremely hard to deal with. My best advice is to keep yourself busy, don't just mope around all the time thinking about her and *sigh* how wonderful life would be if she was here. Go out and meet new people, you never know, you could be missing out on some awesome girls just because you're fixated on her.
I know it's the last thing you want to hear, but it's the honest truth. It's very hard to do, but in the long run you'll understand how silly these things can be.
Yeah long distance relationship are hard... I've been with her for about a month now but I get what you mean... it's just that I don't plan on meeting new people yet still young :D people can wait... and I go out alot trying to get my mind off of her in a way I guess that is a good idea? :dunno:: |
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| S2KPWR |
quote:
Originally posted by azian.boi
, ive been thinking and crying for about a week (im a very emtional guy) :(
BWAHAHAHAH!:thumbup: |
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| Stainless |
quote:
Originally posted by S2KPWR
BWAHAHAHAH!:thumbup:
pwned? |
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| azian.boi |
| Hey geez thanks atleast i don't go around smoking shit or shoving crap up my nose and killing myself. |
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| lilweiner |
quote:
Originally posted by azian.boi
Hey geez thanks atleast i don't go around smoking shit or shoving crap up my nose and killing myself.
well it might help you forget about the girl.... WTF how do you even know about that shit...yer 14.... or sumthing |
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| colossus |
| Move on. Find a local girl, it's better in the long run. |
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| edmCRX |
| play the field and get all that you can while you're young (be safe and smart though! :) ). :thumbup: |
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| penance |
Stay friends, but not in a relationship... at 14 it's not gonna last. Especially if you made it too highschool still together.
I tried the long distance thing once, after knowing the girl for a week while on vacation. It lasted about a 8 months before the distance became a problem... we just fell apart. It's inevitable... it'll happen to you.
My girlfriend & I have been together 6 months now. We had been bestfriends for about a year. She's in Edmonton, i'm in Vancouver... but we're mature in knowing what we want & that we can make long distance work for another 15months (until she moves back here).
But yeah, you and her are too young... you'll end up getting distracted by other people you'll meet over the next few years. YOu may not think so... but trust me, it'll happen. The best thing you can do is probably just stay really close friends... and who knows what'll happen years down the road. |
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| BlueTurboEGG |
quote:
Originally posted by azian.boi
Hey geez thanks atleast i don't go around smoking shit or shoving crap up my nose and killing myself.
He has a HUGE point there... |
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| azian.boi |
quote:
Originally posted by lilweiner
well it might help you forget about the girl.... WTF how do you even know about that shit...yer 14.... or sumthing
I understand the part about trying to help me forget about the girl but wth is this? all of a sudden just because im young i dont know shit? so what if im 14, i just want some advice on my problem i may be young but i understand things. |
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| azian.boi |
| hey everyone thanks for the advice so far, i understand what you are trying to say and you are only trying to help me, even though its not the happiest thing to do but its the RIGHT thing to do, anyways anyone have more advice on my PROBLEM? instead of how they feel about my age or my personality? |
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| PraxGTI |
You will have a different understanding of "Love" once you get older, although you never truly figure it out. But even at your age it "Feels" the same.
Try to get a hold of her, or email her, and just be completely honest, but also talk about the practicality of it.
Your 14, I am assuming she is the same age. She is living there, and I am guessing she has no canadian citizenship. Do some research into what it takes to get someone sponsored and moved to Canada, also think, you will be in school for quite some time (4-8 years depending on university). So look at yours and her goals, are they the same? Is there any way you can be together in the future?
Its not really practical to wait for someone who you might never be able to be with...
That said, I wish you the best of luck, I hope that her and your feelings endure. Do a favor for yourself though, print off the post and put it some where safe, and then in 4-5 years, look at it again, it will give you some understanding that you might not have yet, regardless of what happens. |
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| azian.boi |
quote:
Originally posted by PraxGTI
You will have a different understanding of "Love" once you get older, although you never truly figure it out. But even at your age it "Feels" the same.
Try to get a hold of her, or email her, and just be completely honest, but also talk about the practicality of it.
Your 14, I am assuming she is the same age. She is living there, and I am guessing she has no canadian citizenship. Do some research into what it takes to get someone sponsored and moved to Canada, also think, you will be in school for quite some time (4-8 years depending on university). So look at yours and her goals, are they the same? Is there any way you can be together in the future?
Its not really practical to wait for someone who you might never be able to be with...
That said, I wish you the best of luck, I hope that her and your feelings endure. Do a favor for yourself though, print off the post and put it some where safe, and then in 4-5 years, look at it again, it will give you some understanding that you might not have yet, regardless of what happens.
Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it :) |
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| REFLUX |
I agree with PraxGTI.
If you are serious with this girl you have got to take a step back and ask yourself where you would be going if you were single.
If that goes well with her goals, then you might have something.
Either way, just talk with her. Tell her what you think and tell her honestly.
I've had 2 long distance relationships (Alberta-BC & Ontario-Alberta) and after some time, especially after feelings really build up, it gets hard to not be able to see someone you care about.
The most difficult thing in a relationship is to be reasonable with yourself and about the relationship.
Being 14 is hard already, having a long distance relationship makes it even more difficult but no matter what happens, life goes on and the best thing you can do is to stay positive. :)
Oh & what 2003SpecV said is very true, I remember being 14 very vividly and believe me, things change in 10 years.
Heck, in 3 years I found myself to be a very different person already.
Good luck:thumbup: |
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| azian.boi |
| Thanks guys im feeling alot better right now than i felt couple weeks ago :D |
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| importracer1 |
| heyy!! allen |
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| seevik |
| ima agree wit the guy who said ur too young for a long distance relationship, and IMO dun matter how old u r, long distance thast on a diff continent just dun work in my opinion unless one of u is movin to th other side, and if ur 14, look for lil girls at ur school, that u could see like more then once a year or w,e, i mite be wrong but ur prolly not gonna marry this girl u like, so dun waste time rite now on one girl,nows the time to get experienced so that when u turn 19-20 u wont be suprised where a pussy is or wat its all used for and shit, just think bout it |
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| azian.boi |
| hey thanks for the advice but i dont think im gonna marry any of the girls that ill be dating at my school either.... it might be a waste of time, so i want to waste it on her. i know everyone thinks im too young for long distance relationships but RIGHT NOW i dont feel the same way, and buddy if a guy didnt know where a pussy was he must be some gay ass drugger. |
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| REFLUX |
So what are you going to do now?
Have you gotten a hold of her?
Do you plan on staying together?
:dunno: |
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| DeathBy240 |
When I was 16-17 I was involved in a long-distance relationship (Manitoba-Alberta)
It was way too hard. We were both young, full of hormones and meeting people we could see more than once every couple of months.
We broke it off and starting dating other people. Then I moved back here a few years ago and we picked things up.
Now we're getting married. :thumbup:
Hold off for now. Your teenage years are for exploring and experimenting. Don't throw it away or you'll regret it. |
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| azian.boi |
quote:
Originally posted by REFLUX
So what are you going to do now?
Have you gotten a hold of her?
Do you plan on staying together?
:dunno:
For now i think im gonna stay with her... im talking to her right now on the phone :D soo happy today |
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