| "All's fair in love and war"? - Click HERE for Original Thread |
| Buddyworm |
Focusing mainly on the love aspect of things.
A friend, of mine, we'll call him Jack, wants to get with a girl he knows but won't make any advances at all because she's got a boyfriend. From what I can see it's one of those "I'm enamoured with you because of sex" relationships. Anyway, he'll keep making excuses about why he shouldn't and say it's out of respect for the boyfriend.
Now I don't pretend to know how to whoo women, especially away from a boyfriend. But does that mean he shouldn't try to at least shift her attention in his direction? I think the whole "respect" thing is just an excuse because Jack doesn't think he stacks up to the boyfriend even when I know if Jack grew some cojones he'd be able to outshine said boyfriend.
What think you? Input from the ladies here would be appreciated muchly.
B-Wurm :D |
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| Jord@n |
| A little flirting is ok in my books. But I wouldn't tell him to make any big advances especially around the boyfriend. In my opinion you don't want to 'steal' her from her boyfriend or convince her that he is better. He wants to let her know that he likes her, and let her make the decision whether or not she wants to pursue him or stay where she is at. |
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| bluesuburbansky |
quote:
Originally posted by Buddyworm
I think the whole "respect" thing is just an excuse because Jack doesn't think he stacks up to the boyfriend even when I know if Jack grew some cojones he'd be able to outshine said boyfriend.
But that's the *BIG* problem. I think it's been said a MILLION times that nice guys finish last (friend sounds like nice guy since he respects that she has a bf) and that lots of girls like assholes to screw and nice guys as pals.
So there's a pretty good chance your friend will never attract her attention because he's not an asshole and because he lacks 'cojones'. (I'm lumping her into the 'likes assholes' category based on what you said about her relationship with her bf.)
But on the other hand, there are lots and lots of relationships that start out like this -- guy gradually gets 'taken' girl's attention and next thing you know she dumps the bf for him. It really depends on the quality of the relationship you want to break up. |
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| ChromeDragon |
Well then you know what has to be done. When he's finished though, tell him not to throw the gun in the river, that's always the first place they look.
Damn amateurs!:rolleyes: |
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| TrevorK |
Personally, I would stay on the radar screen but not go as far as to make the first move.
Stay visable, let it be known (Non-verbally) that you're an option if (and only if) she wants to dump her boyfriend. Don't be the one-night stand guy she cheats with. |
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| snugs |
quote:
Originally posted by ChromeDragon
Well then you know what has to be done. When he's finished though, tell him not to throw the gun in the river, that's always the first place they look.
Damn amateurs!:rolleyes:
:lol:
This reminds me of that bit that Chris Rock does about men and women dating.
-A guy introduces his girl to his friend, and when they leave his buddy says to himself, wow she was really nice, I gotta get me a girl like that.
-A girl introduces her man to her friend, and when they leave her friend says to herself, wow he was really nice, I gotta get me HIM.
Jack needs to put some distance between himself and his feminine side. :D |
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| bigmack000 |
| best thing he can say that wont be super foarward but willlet her know he likes her is that he wishes he could date soemoen like her and that her boyfreinds is very lucky and should treat her right" |
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| kyuu |
| I wouldn't want someone muscling in on my girlfriend so I sure as hell wouldn't do it to someone else. |
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| RacerGirl |
she has a boyfriend. thats all there is to it. How would he feel if some dude was butting in and trying to take his gf?
How long has this couple been together?
He's gotta put some distance between them, would he really be comfrtable knowing that he stole someone's gf? there's also the thought that if she'd do it to her bf, what makes him so special that she wouldnt do it to him with some other dude? |
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| Jord@n |
quote:
Originally posted by RacerGirl
she has a boyfriend. thats all there is to it. How would he feel if some dude was butting in and trying to take his gf?
How long has this couple been together?
He's gotta put some distance between them, would he really be comfrtable knowing that he stole someone's gf? there's also the thought that if she'd do it to her bf, what makes him so special that she wouldnt do it to him with some other dude?
What if her current boyfriend is a douchebag and this other guy is the perfect match for her? You're saying he should just let her get away and not say anything? I agree it's not fair to steal someones boyfriend or girlfriend. But I think letting her know he's interested in a subtle way is not out of line at all. Then that leaves her with the decision. If she decides to leave her current boyfriend that is her choice and if her current boyfriend was such a great guy she wouldn't leave him. |
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| RacerGirl |
How does he know the bf is a douchbag to her? or it is just his opinion of the guy in general? How well does the friend know this girl? a lot of girls bitch and complain about their bf's, doesnt mean it is an open invite for some other dude to come in and profess his feelings. If they are already friends and he does this, it may fuck up the friendship, is he wanting to do that?
In the end he has to decide what to do, he shouldnt listen to a bunch of people. if he feels it is the right thing to do, than he will do it. If he feels it is not, then he won't, no matter what other people tell him to do or not to do. |
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| Jord@n |
quote:
Originally posted by RacerGirl
How does he know the bf is a douchbag to her? or it is just his opinion of the guy in general? How well does the friend know this girl? a lot of girls bitch and complain about their bf's, doesnt mean it is an open invite for some other dude to come in and profess his feelings. If they are already friends and he does this, it may fuck up the friendship, is he wanting to do that?
In the end he has to decide what to do, he shouldnt listen to a bunch of people. if he feels it is the right thing to do, than he will do it. If he feels it is not, then he won't, no matter what other people tell him to do or not to do.
Point taken. I'm just saying if he really likes her he can't let her get away without giving it a shot. |
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| driftr420 |
i find it hard to belive that this guy is that sure she's the right one for him. without dating her and since she already has a boyfriend. when's he spending time with her ? (to make the decision she's for him) just because you like somebody does not mean it's ment to be.
personally i think you'd be crazy to try and do anything until you are positive she's the one for you. otherwise you could end up causing her more harm than good, and if you do really care for her than you'll want whats best for her not you. |
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| ae1969 |
Why do people think this stuff over so much............
:dunno: Why do people even think of moving in on someone else's girl/guy ?
If this girl gave 2 shits about your buddy .......he would be the boyfriend.
No testicular enlargement is going to help him at this point. He may be able to make her his ****buddy if thats what he wants but nothing else.
Lets just say if SHE is willing to dump her current boyfriend for your buddy..............it will take NO time for her to dump him as well for the next guy.
Why waste your time........ if its meant to be.........it will be. |
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| 95EagleAWD |
quote:
Originally posted by Buddyworm
Focusing mainly on the love aspect of things.
A friend, of mine, we'll call him Jack, wants to get with a girl he knows but won't make any advances at all because she's got a boyfriend. From what I can see it's one of those "I'm enamoured with you because of sex" relationships. Anyway, he'll keep making excuses about why he shouldn't and say it's out of respect for the boyfriend.
B-Wurm :D
Was this about my brother? :lol: |
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| Buddyworm |
Let's say my friend is just "making it known" to her. Not actively trying to come between them.
I'm not trying to find ammo in order to convince him to go after her, I'm just wondering wether or not he's just being a wuss.
quote:
Originally posted by 95EagleAWD
Was this about my brother? :lol:
:lol: :lol: Hahahaha. No. But oh man :lol:
B-Wurm :D |
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| 95EagleAWD |
:lol:
Just thought I'd ask. I guess he's got a girl now...
:cool: |
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| bluecargirl666 |
quote:
Originally posted by ae1969
Why do people think this stuff over so much............
:dunno: Why do people even think of moving in on someone else's girl/guy ?
If this girl gave 2 shits about your buddy .......he would be the boyfriend.
No testicular enlargement is going to help him at this point. He may be able to make her his ****buddy if thats what he wants but nothing else.
Lets just say if SHE is willing to dump her current boyfriend for your buddy..............it will take NO time for her to dump him as well for the next guy.
Why waste your time........ if its meant to be.........it will be.
cheers to that.. if they're rocky.. then just be there and let her know u care..
bjut if she dumps someone as easily for you.. be prepared that shell dump u just as easily for someone else |
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| bluecargirl666 |
| or i could learn to read all the posts before i put in my belated 2 cents... :smack: |
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| dc2696 |
| Someone resently tried to get inbetween me and my gf b/c I work out of town alot. He started calling and asking if they could hang out or go to a movie my gf was like are you retarded? I have a bf, he says ya thats ok and everything I just wanna spend time with you. She tells me this next time he called she told him that I said he better watch himself and he comes back with ppl that fuck with me end up in the river. I mentioned something about me being upset with him (bit of an understatement) to a friend of his...haven't heard anything since. My point is that if anyone tried to break up me and my gf they would be in for a good match of fisti-cuffs, I would never try anything like that, it just shows how much respect (or lack there of) you have for ppl. |
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| Jord@n |
quote:
Originally posted by dc2696
Someone resently tried to get inbetween me and my gf b/c I work out of town alot. He started calling and asking if they could hang out or go to a movie my gf was like are you retarded? I have a bf, he says ya thats ok and everything I just wanna spend time with you. She tells me this next time he called she told him that I said he better watch himself and he comes back with ppl that fuck with me end up in the river. I mentioned something about me being upset with him (bit of an understatement) to a friend of his...haven't heard anything since. My point is that if anyone tried to break up me and my gf they would be in for a good match of fisti-cuffs, I would never try anything like that, it just shows how much respect (or lack there of) you have for ppl.
Your girlfriend obviously cares about you and dislikes this guy. I agree, trying to move in someones partner is rude to say the least.
It would be a different story if you and your girlfriend weren't getting along or were in a bad relationship. |
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| Casanova |
| Why would you be mad at the guy? The guy has made no obligation to you whatsoever, he owes you nothing. It is your girl that owes you something, if the guy wont fuck off and your gf is complaining.... then maybe its time to have a chat. But if your gf cheats with another guy, then the only person at fault is the girl (and maybe yours for not making her happy). I've slept with alot of girls that had bf's, but I in no way snaked my way in there - have a few drinks have a good time one thing leads to another, she had already made her mind up. And I;ve been cheated on - Karma? Maybe. Point is no matter how insistent a guy is on hitting on your gf if she isnt interested, then she wont be out with him in a bad situation - nothing will come of it. The power is in her hands. |
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| Buddyworm |
quote:
Originally posted by dc2696
it just shows how much respect (or lack there of) you have for ppl.
I agree with you on that one, provided he "snaked" his way in there, as Casanova put it. If somebody did that to me I'd be pissed as hell too but if she ditches an honest guy for a dude who has to be underhanded to win her over she was a waste of time anyway.
B-Wurm :D |
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| dc2696 |
quote:
Originally posted by Buddyworm
I agree with you on that one, provided he "snaked" his way in there, as Casanova put it. If somebody did that to me I'd be pissed as hell too but if she ditches an honest guy for a dude who has to be underhanded to win her over she was a waste of time anyway.
B-Wurm :D
true. |
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| tokes |
Your problem sounds like this dude and my girlfriend. His name wouldn't happen to be dave, would it? :)
This guy's been calling her a lot, they've gone out for lunches with groups of friends and stuff like that, she went to the bar once with some of his friends, no biggie, I know that this guy isn't my girlfriends type at all, she just likes him as a friend. About a month ago I got into a big bar fight, yadda yadda, hit on my GF's best friend, yadda yadda. Saturday morning she hears about this, tears me a new A-hole on the phone for about 45 minutes, and tells me it's over. She ends up talking to this other guy on MSN and my GF felt terrible about what she said to me, and asked him "Should I apologize to him for what I said?" and this cunt tells her that she definitely shouldn't call me back, to put me out of her life, etc, etc. Keep in mind my girlfriend felt terrible about what she said, and apologized about it a ton and we "got back together" like two days after she said all this. But this guy was a little weasel and tried to work his way in there just because he knew she was pissed off at me.
There's a difference between being a wuss, being a weasel, and just making your presense known. Being a wuss is a great way to get nothing done, and being a weasel is a great way to get your ass kicked. If he really cares fo rthe girl he should just make it known how he feels, and keep on being a friend to her. The guy who pulled this shit with my girlfriend sent her a couple of pretty lame text messages (He didn't even have enough stones to say this to her in person, or even on the phone) and then basically stopped talking to her altogether after she let him know that we got back together. |
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| Buddyworm |
Nope, his name isn't Dave hahaha. But that guy sounds like a huge wanker.
B-Wurm :D |
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