| Vive le Quebec |
Hickory Dickory Dock.
My balls fell out of my jock.
I laid them to rest
On some hooker's chest
And paddled her face with my cock.
Roll, roll, roll your cunt
Gently down my prick.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Then you'll suck my dick.
Hey diddle diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.
That's more than my lazy wife does,
The fat, fuckin' smelly baboon
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
A lightbulb was stuck up her ass.
It woke up the spider
Who lived deep inside her.
He said "Hey, free electric and gas."
Jack and Jill went up the hill
And Jack would try to hump her.
Jill said No / and Jack said So
I'll ram it in your dumper.
Twinkle twinkle little star,
Will she blow me in the car.
I bought her dinner, she had fun.
My balls are boiling, I'd like to come.
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her old dog a snack.
The cupboard was bare,
She didn't despair.
She let Rover munch on her crack
Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater.
Whacked off in the movie theater.
Sprayed his load across the screen
And ruined Titanic's final scene
Jack and Betty, up in a tree
F-U-C-K-I-N-G
First comes Betty, then comes Jack
Then comes the goo from Betty's crack.
Little Boy Blue -
He needed the money.
Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie
Jerked off in his girlfriend's eye
When her eye was dry and shut
Georgie fucked that one-eyed slut
Old King Cole was a merry old soul
A merry old soul was he
He chewed off his tit
And ate his own shit
And washed it down with some tea.
Hickory Dickory Dock
Some chick was sucking my cock
The clock struck two
I dropped my goo
I dumped the bitch on the next block.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
Both with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two-fifty
That fuckin' whore.
Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
Trim that pussy it's too damn hairy
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her
And said, "Hey, what's in the bowl, bitch?"
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her poor dog a bone
When she bent over,
Her Rover took over
And she got a bone of her own.
Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
So Jack ignored those flabby tits
And licked her asshole clean
Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top
Your mother's a whore,
And I ain't your pop.
Little Bo Peep fucked her sheep
Blew a horse, licked his feet
She ate his ass so very nice
Tongued his balls not once but twice
Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater
Had a wife, loved to beat her
Smacked her twice across the head
Fucked her ass and went to bed
Little jack Horner sat in a corner
Eating a pizza pie.
He shit pepperoni,
Then blew his friend Tony,
And wiped his mouth on his tie
Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are
Shine upon the parking lot
As I eat my girl friends twat.
Three blind mice, see how they run
Where the fuck are they going?
Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe
Suck my dick and swallow slow.
Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick
Jack burnt off his fuckin' dick.
There was an old lady
Who lived in a shoe
She had so many kids
Her uterus fell out
Patty cake, patty cake,
Baker's man
If your chick's on her period
Fuck her in the can
Mary had a little lamb,
She kept in her backyard.
When she took her panties off
His wooly dick got hard.
Doe, a deer, a female deer.
Ray, the guy that fucked her ass.
Rub a Dub Dub
Three men in a tub.
Faggots have threesomes, too-
So fuckin' what.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I fucked your mother's ass
And she had you. |
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| Inzane |
| Some of those are classic Andrew Dice Clay material... not sure about the rest. Are they all his, or mixed sources? |
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| Vive le Quebec |
I believe they're all his. I found a list after googling his name when I saw that CNN special where he mouthed off the anchorman and they booted him off live TV...that was rediculous. I think he crossed the line with that...
His nursery rhymes were hilarious though...my favorite is Jack be nibble, Jack be quick... |
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| 180sxforthewin |
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I fucked your mother's ass
And she had you.
wtf:dunno: |
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| 300zxgal |
Mary had a little skirt,
with splits right up the sides,
and every time that Mary walked,
the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt,
twas split right up the front,
but she didn't wear that one very often.
Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider,
that crept beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.
Simple Simon met a Pieman,
going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you dickhead.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
said "F*ck him, He's only an egg."
Mary had a little lamb,
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass,
and turned it's wool to nylon.
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill,
And now there's little Frankie. |
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