| Drag-On |
| Ok i really like this girl (plus it helps she has modeled for diesil and is in a bunch of mags) but she has a little girl, i mean i am just turnin 19 on the 14th of may i dont know how to handle this, she said i dont need to be a dad she already has one but still i cant go over there and see the kid and just not think about it. But i really like this girl! i am confused |
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| H22_TURBO |
like nike says " just do it" :bigthumbup: so she has a kid big deal. but, if it's something thats not goin to be, don't get to attached to her kid cause if you leave her it's goin to be hard on the kid, her, yourself.
thats just my thoughts! :D |
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| REFLUX |
agreed with H22Turbo
if the relationship is just for fun, don't get attached to her child
but if you are serious about it...still don't get attached to her child
judging from your last post about blonde airheads....
a mom who has modelled for diesel & some mags seems to fit the description of "airhead" in certain ways
& since she told you that she has "a dad" already, it seems like she's telling you that she doens't need you in that way or want you in that way
idunno, just be careful
her child will come before you & possibly "the dad" as well since he takes care of her child
that would make you #3 on her list AT MOST |
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| Drag-On |
| no she hates the guy he used to beat her |
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| Loose |
Dude, don't walk.. run!
Unless you really like her, you are just asking for a world of hurt.
Possible outcomes:
1. You fall in love, get married, become a step dad. Live happily ever after.
2. You have a rocky relationship with her, but become attached to the kid... can't break up with her cause you like the kid... finally leave her and break your heart and the kid's.
3. Things are always shitty cause of the real dad hatin' on you.
1 is not likely. 2 and 3 are. It's a big risk my friend. |
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| Drag-On |
| i dont know its hard man i feel for her and i know people have said "run she has a kid" but she doesnt deserve that, i mean it happens it could happen to us. I know i will treat her and her kid good but like i said i am only 19 i dont know if i am ready but i dont wanna lose out. Its a very hard decision to make. |
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| BlueTurboEGG |
quote:
Originally posted by Drag-On@May 5 2003, 04:45 PM
i dont know its hard man i feel for her and i know people have said "run she has a kid" but she doesnt deserve that, i mean it happens it could happen to us. I know i will treat her and her kid good but like i said i am only 19 i dont know if i am ready but i dont wanna lose out. Its a very hard decision to make.
Play it cool, don't sweat the "Replacement Dad" thing
Just enjoy each others company. |
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| Drag-On |
| she is 19 on the 30th of may |
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| KimFidler |
Have fun!
Treat the kid like your little homey and have fun tagging his mom.. use a condom, you don't need one of your own. |
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| Perilous_Enterprises |
Step softly grasshopper,
for a hungry cat
may be near...
or
just be careful, theres a cornicopia of potential hazzards when dealing with chix and kidz...
Bob |
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| s2oooR |
| Personally, i think that single moms can be clingy cuz well u know,,,,,,as good looking as they might be, many guys'll spare themselves the hassle and move on........hence, they'll take whatever guy shows any interest in them and hang on for dear life ...hahahaha....ok, maybe not for dear life but u know what im getting at :bigthumbup: |
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| PraxRX7 |
Its quite simple...if she works and provides for the kid then she is worth your time...
If the kid lives with her father or mother most of the time and she doesn't put her kid on the top priority for money list and is a dead beat parent, then don't hook up.
My friend got involved with a chick same age with a kid...she pawned the kid off on her dad and spent all her money on smokes and going out. Well guess what...my friend got her pregnant and now she is going to have another kid that she won't provide for properly.
Don't waste your time if she is a dead beat. |
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| HKSpowers |
quote:
Originally posted by Loose@May 5 2003, 04:30 PM
Dude, don't walk.. run!
Unless you really like her, you are just asking for a world of hurt.
Possible outcomes:
1. You fall in love, get married, become a step dad. Live happily ever after.
2. You have a rocky relationship with her, but become attached to the kid... can't break up with her cause you like the kid... finally leave her and break your heart and the kid's.
3. Things are always shitty cause of the real dad hatin' on you.
1 is not likely. 2 and 3 are. It's a big risk my friend.
This I agree with, but make sure shes aware of what level you want the relationship to go too.
Try to get to know her and the kid for a good while before making any sort of commitment and to seperate Love from just Lust. |
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| SlowAzzPorsche911T |
| chicks with kids are excess baggage dood, just I dunno, become her friend you're too young to have to worry about the responsibilities of being a step father and making up for what some jerk couldn't do when he left her so forget about it |
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| redbaron303 |
quote:
Originally posted by HKSpowers@May 6 2003, 07:12 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Loose@May 5 2003, 04:30 PM
Dude, don't walk.. run!
Unless you really like her, you are just asking for a world of hurt.
Possible outcomes:
1. You fall in love, get married, become a step dad. Live happily ever after.
2. You have a rocky relationship with her, but become attached to the kid... can't break up with her cause you like the kid... finally leave her and break your heart and the kid's.
3. Things are always shitty cause of the real dad hatin' on you.
1 is not likely. 2 and 3 are. It's a big risk my friend.
This I agree with, but make sure shes aware of what level you want the relationship to go too.
Try to get to know her and the kid for a good while before making any sort of commitment and to seperate Love from just Lust.
I agree w/ this and what Matt said...
Too much excess baggage, I don't think in 19 years you've had time to experience enough of what the world has to offer?! Whether it be jobs, travel, women, etc?! IMO 19 is just to young to get "ready to settle down w/ a good lookin woman who ALREADY HAD a kid." Aren't there any kidless good looking women out there?!
You know you said something to me too, that stand for good value, "just because she has a kid doesn't mean she should end up alone." You're right on that one, I would hate to see someone end up alone because they had a kid!
I just think that you need to step back a minute and realize what you may be getting yourself into? Regardless as to how much you like her, think of what Loose said and think of what you may be taking on??? At 19 are you ready for a possible marriage or very serious relationship, are you ready to become a step-dad, basically are you ready to give up your life to become the "family guy" at just 19??? Give it some serious thought, and like some ppl said, make sure she knows what level relationship YOU want! Theres a world of opportunity out there, and it's not like you'll never meet anyone else... ;) |
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| Drag-On |
| yea i know but she wants to marry me |
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| KimFidler |
quote:
Originally posted by Drag-On@May 6 2003, 01:30 PM
yea i know but she wants to marry me
Of course she would.. you've got a wallet. No offence but alot of girls will cling onto any extra income that they can. There's millions of other girls out there mang!! It's up to you.. you can't really expect us to know how you feel about her, or how she feels about you - if it feels right, go for it.. if there's any doubts at all - PDFO (Peace da f@ck out) |
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| REFLUX |
quote:
Originally posted by KimFidler@May 6 2003, 04:30 PM
PDFO (Peace da f@ck out)
NIGGA WHAT!!!!!
LOL
I would be EXTREMELY cautious about the "marriage" thing
kind of...rushed dont you think?? |
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| Drag-On |
| lol man i aint askin her to marry me i am just saying thats how much she wants me dude she is like in love with me and wants to be a family and everything and i do care about her alot but i gotta admit she is more mature then i am and usually its the other way around i always want commitment and i want a girl who doesnt party and go clubbin and drink all the time but now that i got a girl who wants to settle down with me i am freaked as hell |
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| REFLUX |
quote:
Originally posted by Drag-On@May 6 2003, 06:22 PM
lol man i aint askin her to marry me i am just saying thats how much she wants me dude she is like in love with me and wants to be a family and everything and i do care about her alot but i gotta admit she is more mature then i am and usually its the other way around i always want commitment and i want a girl who doesnt party and go clubbin and drink all the time but now that i got a girl who wants to settle down with me i am freaked as hell
oooooooooooh
so she isn't pushing marriage but feels that kind of love
i c i c
well, if you ask me, I would say stay with her for a while longer, see how things go with you & her child.....then consider it.
the most important parts that I picked out are:
1) you are freaked as hell - this shows that you are ready, it is those people who are calm & collected during times of trial & judgement that are not ready
2) she is in love with you & you seem to be in love with her - just make sure you love her child like your own; the child is her blood, you are not. |
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| bono |
Well somehow I think this board needs the opinion of a person with some years on you folks. First of all ask yourself how long have I known this person in my life really? What are the common interests between us? If she didn't model for all those magazines would I still be going out with her, or are you using that as a feature to glote. Remember one thing most important of all, you are 19 years old, the last thing I'm saying is leave her all I'm saying is that the baby factor will never go away. Have you talked to your parents about this? How old is the child? Find out what her custody rights of the child are, is she in school furthering her career?
Remember you are only 19, so ask yourself those questions and think hard and long about the road you choose. |
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| s2oooR |
im with bono on this one,,,,,, I was just about to ask the same things :)
btw Terry, I think u have it all wrong with the "she isnt pushing marriage" thing. Personally, I think she is. Or, at least thats how i read it. Like i said before, I think single moms are more likely to fall for a guy faster than if they didnt have a kid.
Like i mean, look at it.....if u were a single mom, u know that many guys are turned off by your child....and your faced with the possiblity that u could be single for the rest of your life....and a guy comes along that shows SOME interst....wouldnt you be more likely to go after him or cling on to him? I think thats whats happening here specially considering her age and the fact that u say that she's mature suggests she has already given what i said some thought! Andddd, from teh sounds of it, u two havnt really been going out for that long.
Now add all that stuff up on top of the questions bono bruoght up..... I think u have a better direction of what to do :) |
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| REFLUX |
quote:
Originally posted by s2oooR@May 6 2003, 08:11 PM
btw Terry, I think u have it all wrong with the "she isnt pushing marriage" thing.
*doh*
just going on Drag-On's point-of-view & I forgot he's 19 :D |
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| redbaron303 |
Devin, I guess you should do what you want to do, take the relationship to a level you want to go to, but be conscious you take the child and all the "excess baggage" that goes with it if you continue to see her.
IMO, I still think talk of marriage and a super serious relationship that even involves a kid yours or not is too much for 19! Hell I'm 19 and wouldn't even consider that, I'm not ready for that stage of life, are you!? :blink: |
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| HKSpowers |
Being in love is great and the best feeling in the world, more so then buying a new car ;) but really man your 19 and I bet if not even fresh out of school or soon to be, well what i'm trying to say is this. I know you are not finnancially stable to raise a young child and her mother on your own so until then you should stay in the infatuation zone a little bit longer like say 5 years longer before you decide to marry or take it to that level.
Try living a little while with her, TRUST me 6 month and you two might be ready to kill each other.
Living with a chick is a skill and talent and takes many bottles of asprin. |
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| Pro Drag |
A wise man once said:
"No matter how beautiful she is, or how much talent she has, some guy somewhere is sick of putting up with her shit."
You are ahead of the game right now because you KNOW who this guy is. There is two sides to every story. |
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| got_ae86 |
| Train the kid.....like a Pokemon. |
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| Spike7ss |
| the girl i went out with in the past had my child, after i found that out i broke up with her and wanted nothing to do with her, i suggest this to all ppl who get stuck in thses type of realtionships. :bigthumbup: |
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| GirlRacer P1 |
quote:
Originally posted by Spike7ss@May 7 2003, 04:21 PM
the girl i went out with in the past had my child, after i found that out i broke up with her and wanted nothing to do with her, i suggest this to all ppl who get stuck in thses type of realtionships. :bigthumbup:
Damn I hope you are using some sarcasm there. My SO and I are having a baby now, and he first freaked out, and wanted nothing to do with it, but now he has done a complete change, and I am happy to say it is for the better.
Leaving a chick you got pregnant shows lack of responsibility, selfishness, and just plain being an immature dickhead.
As for the dude with the dilemma, if you care about her, stay with her, see where things go. You are still young, and if all she is looking for is a daddy for her kid, then it is up to you to decide what you want to do. If she loves you for you, and you care as equally back, see where it take you. |
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| s2oooR |
love for one another is NOT all u need......contrary to what GR just said :P
u need money, a place to live, and alot of time to give to her child and her..... |
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| bono |
| here's one of the best lines of truth, Anybody can make a baby but only a real man can be a father! |
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| GsiTurbo |
| if I can add mine 5 cents to this debate, I used to go out with the girl that had a kid, when I was in the early 20's (her as well). All good, nice and happy, but the day came when we couldnt handle it anymore, and had to say 'goodbye' to each other. The hardest part was letting the little kid go..., it did hurt like hell as she was very cute, honest and attached (the kid).....I never fell with the mom, but surely did with the little one. Don't want to get too emotional and stuff, but think twice before you step in... :wacko: |
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| GirlRacer P1 |
| Okay guys, ignore everything I said. My SO decided not to be a real man after all. |
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| Almost |
quote:
Originally posted by GirlRacer P1@May 24 2003, 06:59 PM
Okay guys, ignore everything I said. My SO decided not to be a real man after all.
doesn't sound like someone deserving of the SO title anymore....... :angry: |
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| GirlRacer P1 |
| Nope, he is now the "ex". Not my choice, but I get to deal with it. :crying: |
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| s2oooR |
damn, what happend GR? :(
.....i thoguht he was comming to visit during the summer? does this mean u dont even keep in contact with him? |
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| GirlRacer P1 |
| Well Rommel.... he decided a few weeks ago that he did not want to be with me, but still be there for me as a best friend, and wants to be there for the baby. Now he has turned into uber-ass and I think he is seeing some other chick, after he kept telling me and promising me he was not, and did not want to. Oh well, shit happens I guess. I get to see what is going on when I go down and see him this weekend. His friends do not even know I am pregnant, so this will be certainly intresting. |
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| Scintillater |
it is a very difficult choice. you do have to realize that the child is part of the girl's life and will always be there. if you can't handle that, then don't go out with her. it is a package deal.
on the other hand, if you COULD see yourself coming to love the child as your own etc...then you have something to think about.
you're not being selfish if you can't deal with it. it's better than getting super attached and then afterwards realizing that you can't, and just leaving them high and dry...so just really ask yourself. if you're young yourself, then i can understand that you're hesitant. it's unfortunate but you do have to think for the long run especially because there's more than just 2 people involved. |
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| Mekanik22 |
| She'll be as loose a mofo because she had a kid ;) |
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| TheNeonEdge |
GR racer...that sucks, His ass should be supporting you!! Im definately not down with that, Knock a chick up then leave her. Thats fucked up.
And for you Drag-On - what are u thinking man!?!?! Be a little bit selfish. Or you will end up having a crappy relationship anyways. You need to give and take, and by the sounds of it she sure wants to take. Think of it like this.
Your both 19, she has a kid with another person already. This guy might be pissed that you are seeing her, and that could cause problems, Maybe its the same guy / guys that busted you and ure car up?
By the way, you said you live in morinville..whats this girls name..sarah maybe?!
--ThE EdGe |
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| GirlRacer P1 |
Neon: He is helping as much as he can from VanCity... we just are not together.
Men are confusing. |
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| MiniMan |
quote:
Originally posted by Mekanik22@Jun 19 2003, 07:23 PM
She'll be as loose a mofo because she had a kid ;)
Sounds like he's already been down there to me B) .
Let me ask you this though, if she gained 15lbs would you still like her? What about 30? Any girl you can't say yes to those two questions with isn't a girl to get serious with.
My suggestion: have fun with her and the kid. It is a good learning experience and who knows maybe you'll become good friends :D . Don't get attached. (PERIOD)
Corey |
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| Ricco_UnUnited |
| I agree with Miniman B) |
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| s2oooR |
quote:
Originally posted by MiniMan@Jun 26 2003, 02:05 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Mekanik22@Jun 19 2003, 07:23 PM
She'll be as loose a mofo because she had a kid_ ;)
Sounds like he's already been down there to me B) .
Let me ask you this though, if she gained 15lbs would you still like her? What about 30? Any girl you can't say yes to those two questions with isn't a girl to get serious with.
My suggestion: have fun with her and the kid. It is a good learning experience and who knows maybe you'll become good friends :D . Don't get attached. (PERIOD)
Corey
Yeah uhhhh, my gf was slim, toned, etc etc...then she gained, 10, 15, 30lbs...lol... :o but in the past 6 months she's lost 10, 15, 30lbs... :P .....go with the flow B) she'll get thin again, dont worry :P :D :lol: |
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| Ajaxs |
| Drag On - So are you and Her Engaged??? U were sayin that she wanted too. but you never said if u were going too........... |
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| GirlRacer P1 |
| Rommel: You're terrible!!!! :P |
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| s2oooR |
quote:
Originally posted by GirlRacer P1@Aug 7 2003, 12:45 AM
Rommel: You're terrible!!!! :P
I know hey? Thats what my gf says too....:lol: |
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| lovemytrx |
Tread carefully, if you're not ready to be a stepfather to this child it's time to check out. She says she doesn't need a father for her child, that IMO is a lie, lying to you and lying to herself.
I have the utmost respect for any woman who is raising a child by herself. It's the most demanding job I can think of 24/7 365 and you don't get a holiday ever. Kids ideally need 2 loving parents. I have 4 kids and I give props to my wife for how she is with them, I work a lot so I'm not home that much, but when I'm with my kids, theres no rest, no time for goofing off. There great and I love em to bits, but to be a single parent there's a kick in the teeth. I know a guy who has 2 girls he's raising and their mother is taking off with some moron and moving out of province, what kind of mother is that? You're 19, you have your whole life ahead of you, how serious are you about this girl anyway? Can you see yourself being with her for the rest of your life, do you want her child to call you Daddy, how are you going to support the 3 of you, what are your career plans? |
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| Scintillater |
just to bring this one back...i just told my parents this weekend that the guy i'm dating has a son. oh my god...did all hell break loose.
you really have to consider all those things when you decide to date someone with a child. it isnt' easy, and i can guarantee that. but it's something you have to decide whether or not the struggle is worth it. |
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| GirlRacer P1 |
| lovemytrx: I am a single mother, and I am not speaking for all of us, but I am not looking for someone to be a daddy to my son. He has a father, and an uncle who adore him, so if I were to date again, I would be doing it for myself, not just to give Dylan a father figure since his dad is in BC. |
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| s2oooR |
quote:
Originally posted by Scintillater
just to bring this one back...i just told my parents this weekend that the guy i'm dating has a son. oh my god...did all hell break loose.
you really have to consider all those things when you decide to date someone with a child. it isnt' easy, and i can guarantee that. but it's something you have to decide whether or not the struggle is worth it.
Does that mean you have a new bf now? :unsure: |
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| Casanova |
| agreed with Scint. |
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| GirlRacer P1 |
quote:
Originally posted by s2oooR
Does that mean you have a new bf now? :unsure:
Nope. No bf. |
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| GirlRacer P1 |
| oh crap, sorry dude. I read the wrong post from Rommel. I'm too tired. |
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