| WorkInProgress |
I'm not sure if this is "general" enough to be posted in general chat forum, if it's not a mod can feel free to move it, anyways...
I was sitting around last night and I thought to myself; Who would win in a fight? Chuck Norris or Steven Seagal?
Anyone care to venture a guess? Feel free to post your own "who would win in a fight" match ups!
Round 1:
Norris Vs. Seagal |
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| RacerGirl |
| Chuck Norris. Seagal's a fag. :D |
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| flatboy |
| Norris kills in his sleep |
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| ChromeDragon |
| Chuck Norris eats Steven Seagals and shits out Gary Colemans. |
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| Z3r03rr0r |
all chuck norris "facts" aside
seagal would win |
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| flatboy |
quote:
Originally posted by Z3r03rr0r
all chuck norris "facts" aside
seagal would win
Come on, I know what I've read on the internet.
Norris uses hot sause for eye drops. |
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| WorkInProgress |
This thread (believe it or not) was not supposed to be the re-birth of "Facts About Chuck Norris" so knock it off!
:mad: |
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| EK9Hatch |
Chuck Norris can kick anyones ass....Seagal included.
I have 3 pairs of these.
Jamie |
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| DoubleDown |
When I was a kid, I used to wonder if King Kong could win a fight with a T-Rex.
When that scene in King Kong happened, I swear I turned into a 9 year old kid cheering for him. All those years of "who can beat up who" questions, and I got one answered. |
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| EDISKRAD EHT |
Now or then?
Seagal is pretty out of shape now. |
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| WorkInProgress |
| Back in their prime! |
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| jarago |
| I'd say seagal easily |
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| ChromeDragon |
| Let's ask the real question. Which one should win an Oscar? |
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| STiPWR |
Chuck Norris has a pet chipmunk named Boris Norris. If you tell Chuck that it's cute that Boris rhymes with Norris, he rhymes "your head" with "roundhouse kick."
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| STiPWR |
| Chuck Norris does not go hunting because "hunting" implies a chance of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing |
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| STiPWR |
| One time in an airport a guy accidently called Chuck Norris "Chick Norris". He explained it was an honest mistake and apologized profusely. Chuck accepted his apology and politley signed an autograph. Nine months later, the guy's wife gave birth to a bearded baby. The guy knew exactly what had happened, and blames nobody but himself. |
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| EDISKRAD EHT |
quote:
Originally posted by WorkInProgress
Back in their prime!
I'd say Seagal then. Too big and powerful for Chuck. |
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| dtjohnst |
Segal would win and everyone knows it. The only reason Norris is more popular is because he plays a cowboy on TV. And we all know what cowboys are like because there's only one way they could be in order for Brokeback Mountain to have been so popular. So while Norris was giving out beard and mustache rides to the Texas locals in exchange for writing outlandish facts about how tough he is to cover up the fact that he's a flaming homo cowboy, Steven Segal was in Chicago making deals with the mob in exchange for movies and being an even bigger badass then we see him play in his movies.
Steven Segal has long hair and earings to be distracting. If he ever got in a fight with Norris, Chuck would assume Segal was also a raving homo and he'd be too busy trying to woo him and invite him out for dinner, and when he finally realized Segal is a real man, unerring in his heterosexuality and his hair, earings, squinty eyes and retarded voice are all a ruse to lure him in, it'd be too late and his face would already have been smashed so hard he'd be looking out his asshole for the rest of his life.
Period. That's the facts of this case and they are undisputed. Except by other raving homos........who are in denial and so will say that Norris is tough and not gay, and that they aren't gay either, but that's because they're having problems accepting the truth. Deep down everyone knows I'm right. |
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| STiPWR |
quote:
Originally posted by dtjohnst
Segal would win and everyone knows it.
You're dead to me. |
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| dtjohnst |
quote:
Originally posted by STiPWR
You're dead to me.
See what I mean? So deep in denial he's gotta just shut me out.
EDIT: In the interest of fairness and avoiding ruining friendships........what if we all just admit that Segal and Norris could each beat up the entire world aside from each other. And that should the 2 ever engage in combat, it would likely mean the end of all life on Earth, and it therefore wouldn't matter who won. |
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| dance_of_curse |
this fight is pretty much cowboys vs indians cause if anyone has seen a segal movie they know what im talking about:lol:
now..what about a kodiak bear and a silver back gorilla...i know the answer...because over a year my friends and i discussed it...but lets see what you all say. |
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| Cyanide Ride |
quote:
Originally posted by dance_of_curse
now..what about a kodiak bear and a silver back gorilla...i know the answer...because over a year my friends and i discussed it...but lets see what you all say.
Are there knives involved? :) |
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| STiPWR |
quote:
Originally posted by Cyanide Ride
Are there knives involved? :)
lol
I've had 2 ongoing arguments with a few of my buddies in the past...
Superman VS Jesus
Pirates VS Ninja's |
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| WorkInProgress |
quote:
Originally posted by STiPWR
lol
I've had 2 ongoing arguments with a few of my buddies in the past...
Superman VS Jesus
Pirates VS Ninja's
Jesus would win, no contest, if he can change water into wine - then I think it would be safe to assume that he could pick up any old rock and turn it into kryptonite.
But then again, Jesus was portrayed as a pretty mellow guy most of the time, he used his "powers" to try and persuade people to think his way, he didn't resort to violence - I mean he let himself be crucified.
Pirates Vs. Ninja's is a tough one, I think it would depend where the fight took place, on a pirate ship I think the pirates would have the upper hand. Ninja's rely on the element of surprise, and I think it would be pretty fucking hard for a ship full of Pirates to NOT notice a bunch of cloaked in black figures sneaking aboard. |
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| Fazda |
| seriously hands down.. Jean Claude Van Damme would beat both their asses at the same time.. common guys haven't u seen blood sport.. he will beat the texas ranger having ass son of a bitch to a pulp. and seagal.. he is way to old .. probaby break a hip.. not even worth van damme's time.. |
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| Fazda |
quote:
Originally posted by STiPWR
One time in an airport a guy accidently called Chuck Norris "Chick Norris". He explained it was an honest mistake and apologized profusely. Chuck accepted his apology and politley signed an autograph. Nine months later, the guy's wife gave birth to a bearded baby. The guy knew exactly what had happened, and blames nobody but himself.
hahaha |
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| WorkInProgress |
quote:
Originally posted by Fazda
seriously hands down.. Jean Claude Van Damm would be both their asses at the same time.. common guys haven't u seen blood sport.. he will beat the texas ranger having ass son of a bitch to a pulp. and segaul.. he is way to old .. probaby break a hip.. not even worth van damms time..
Edit: *stroke* |
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| Fazda |
i fixed it you fuckin grammer nazi.. take it easy buddy.. dont have a fucking stroke on me now..
PS. Van Damme FTW |
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| EK9Hatch |
The only good fight Chuck could have, is against a herd of multi-cultural midgets...you can never under estimate the power that midgets posses.
Jamie |
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| WorkInProgress |
quote:
Originally posted by Fazda
i fixed it you fuckin grammer nazi.. take it easy buddy.. dont have a fucking stroke on me now..
PS. Van Damme FTW
I had my stroke! But now I'm back and better than ever, did you know;
THERE'S NO "E" IN GRAMMAR!?
I'll bet you do now!
HAHA
I'm just being an :asshole: |
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| flatboy |
| Yes Midgets can be very dangerous. Look at Loompaloompas, I'd never turn my back on a group of those. |
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| jarago |
quote:
Originally posted by WorkInProgress
Round 2:
Jet Li Vs. Tony Jaa
I own just about all of jet lis movies and watch him alot, and I think his movies own Jaa's by a mile....but Jaa would win hands down, I believe Jaa is muay thai? and Jet li is wushu? Jaa definately has the advantage unless Jet li has a fire hose or weapon of some sort. |
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| Godzilla |
screw that back to chuck norris
when he jumps in a pool he dosn't get wet, the pool gets chuck norrised |
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| Fazda |
Chuck Norris Doesn't Sleep he waits..
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris. |
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