| What makes people continue to pit themselves? Self Pity - Click HERE for Original Thread |
| REFLUX |
I'm having a difficult time in understanding why people continually pity themselves.
This isn't a rant or some self-empowering post, I'd like to understand what it is that makes Self Pity a condition that goes on for so long.
Is there some kind of "reward" or "benefit" in it?
Is it the receiving of attention from others?
I really don't get it but it's something I'd like to have more light shed on... |
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| Sxn |
a lot of ppl crave the sympathy..
but some are hard on themselves because they can't achieve certain things in life that they long for. |
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| dtjohnst |
quote:
Originally posted by REFLUX
I'm having a difficult time in understanding why people continually pity themselves.
This isn't a rant or some self-empowering post, I'd like to understand what it is that makes Self Pity a condition that goes on for so long.
Is there some kind of "reward" or "benefit" in it?
Is it the receiving of attention from others?
I really don't get it but it's something I'd like to have more light shed on...
Self-pity generally comes from a situation in which a person is in desperate need of human attention and self-affirmation. It's generally a by-product of low-confidence. Self-pity enables you to justify all the negative things you feel about yourself, and in many cases gets initial affection and caring from people. The problem is it wears off and those people go away. Nonetheless, someone with low-confidence will have an easier time getting people to feel sorry for themselves than they will to actually make friends, because they've established this pattern of pity makes people like me.
It's like women who find themselves in abusive relationships, who know it's wrong, but for the life of them can't seem to bring themselves to leave. A pattern has been established, excuses and reasons are given to justify and explain those patterns, and a break-down in rational thought makes it nearly impossible to break.
Afterall, self-pity tends to be all-or-nothing. "I'm a horrible person"....really? All the time? There are no redeeming qualities? That's just one example of about a dozen different ways in which rational thought breaks down in people suffering from depression and self-pity, but in my experience it's the most common.
There's a good book on cognitize therapy called "Feeling Good", but Dr.....shit......lemme check Amazon....Dr David Burns. If you want to gain insight into the mind of those suffering from self-pity, take an hour and go to Chapters and read the first 2 or 3 introductory chapters. It'll probably answer all your questions and more. |
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| REFLUX |
^^^^
Awesome! Thanks that was very helpful :) |
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