| Fighting too much - Click HERE for Original Thread |
| euro_trash |
| In the last few weeks my girlfriend and I have been fighting a lot over really small stupid things. I was just wondering how everyone deals with this? We both have tempers and are very stubborn, so we fight over some pretty dumb things, except we both love eachother very much. I am worried that this might lead to the end so I want to fix it |
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| Blue CRX |
my girlfriend and i are also very stubborn and used to fight lots in the past. Now, we live together and never fight at all.
all i can say is, is that you will never win an arguement, so why bother? the wifey will also bring shit up from the past / just random shit etc etc. All i can tell you is, is that i know both you and your girlfriend probably dont want to hurt each other directly but when arguements occur, you guys are hurting each other. the way i started to deal with it is to just suck it up and be a man about it. say your sorry and you love her and just end it. but, also talk to her about the arguements, im sure both of you dont like em. you'll both end up not doing it anymore. remember, ITS ALWAYS ABOUT HER! |
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| liveforspd |
| fuck that stand your ground and tell her what the deal is. im sure you "love" her but guess what, you will aslo "love" the next one. if you start laying down now you might aswel hand over your balls and pack it in. i have been in that boat man and it isnt worth it. |
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| Fazda |
welcome to the club. girls will do anything possible to piss u off and start a fight. thats why i drink beer. she pisses me off all the time so i drink beer to get even. its a viscious cycle but maybe she will catch on..
Dont be a bitch and tuck your dick between your legs. let her know how u feel and turn the arguement around so it makes her look bad. lol actually does work sometimes.. haha anyways though. girlfriends suck.
mine is a pain in the ass more often than not. do i love her? Yes. does she drive me crazy yes. if we break up will the next one drive me crazy? Yes. they are all the same.. Just deal with it dude. lol |
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| dtjohnst |
quote:
Originally posted by Fazda
mine is a pain in the ass
Sure it's not a boyfriend? :lol: |
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| TrevorK |
Communication is the key to any relationship, and what is happening here is a lack of quality communication.
You and your girlfriend need to develop a way to communicate that allows you to express your feelings without hurting the other person, and that allows for constructive feedback to occur.
If you do not possess the skills to do this naturally then I would advise seeking professional help. Allowing yourself to participate in constructive communication not only enhances your relationships but can further other areas of your life, such as work.
This whole circle that you and your girlfriend are running around in is based on quality communication. What the two of you need to realize, and accept, is that there is very little in a relationship that you need to have a heated discussion over. In the grand scheme of things, many of the arguements are probably over the small things that really don't make a difference.
You can't give in to her all the time, and just let her have her way. That won't make you happy and in the end you'll resent her for it. What you (and her) need to focus on is working out a solution that both of you support.
Each of you has to realize that there is give and take in a relationship. What you need to do is sit down with her and have a mature conversation regarding this topic. Explain to her how you feel about the communication, and discuss ways that each of you can move forward in and improve. it will take time, but eventually will be worth it.
I also hate the be the bearer of bad news, but it's my opinion that if you can't have a mature conversation with someone then you can't have a mature relationship with them. |
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| liveforspd |
| hahahahahahahahahaha |
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| arabian_ryda |
| chicks will always have the last word no matter how wrong she is. |
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| Prudz_lude |
quote:
Originally posted by dtjohnst
Sure it's not a boyfriend? :lol:
Bawhahahaha dtjohnst with the burns to fazda today lol |
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| Fazda |
| lol cut me deep. i got nothing.. chalk one up for the DJ. |
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| ehrgeiz |
I'm down with live4spd. Why do people think women always get the last say?
How can you not win the arguments? Generally women are fuelled by emotion which is why they're so quick crack and become petty. On the very rare occasion that I do get into an argument with the girlfriend I usually try and bate her to that point by twisting her words and warping her perspective. Once you got 'em in the zone you've basically won. Just remain the calm, cool voice of reason and they'll eventually be apologizing to you and admiting that they were wrong. |
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| T-LAV MRV |
^^^^^ ive been the voice of reason, and believe me it does work.
results can be surprising, even scare on how well it will work, but over time u can train your brain to stay calm all the time.
sometimes a calm voice is more scary than a yell, and she will be more frightened of u in the end lol.
mike |
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| Cyanide Ride |
quote:
Originally posted by Fazda
she pisses me off all the time so i drink beer to get even. its a viscious cycle but maybe she will catch on..
What the hell kinda ass backwards thinking is this? :rofl:
If you ain't fighting, you ain't caring.
But are your fighting because you are mad at each other? or yourselves?. |
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| Blue CRX |
| what exactly does winning an arguement with your girlfriend prove? or even making her look bad, or making her cry cause you win.. why not try to comprimise?? there is never a winner or loser in an arguement with a significant other |
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| Fazda |
| lol she just complains alot. I dont consider the two of us having big problems but sometimes i just need my own space. |
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| ehrgeiz |
quote:
Originally posted by Blue CRX
what exactly does winning an arguement with your girlfriend prove? or even making her look bad, or making her cry cause you win.. why not try to comprimise?? there is never a winner or loser in an arguement with a significant other
Your balls stay attached and you affirm the fact that you wear the man pants in the relationship.
Girls will attempt to get hegemony in any relationship, they're slow calculating monsters that will take it inch by inch if you let them (haha! no pun intended). I've seen way too many dude's broken into shadows of their former selves while their dominant girlfriend/wife hovers over them.
I may be a misogynist dink, but I'll pull the chute on any relationship way before I let a chick crush my self-righteousness and personal sovereignty.
That said, pick your battles. I'm not talking about flying off the handle over a tooth paste tube. |
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| Fazda |
quote:
Originally posted by ehrgeiz
Your balls stay attached and you affirm the fact that you wear the man pants in the relationship.
Girls will attempt to get hegemony in any relationship, they're slow calculating monsters that will take it inch by inch if you let them (haha! no pun intended). I've seen way too many dude's broken into shadows of their former selves while their dominant girlfriend/wife hovers over them.
I may be a misogynist dink, but I'll pull the chute on any relationship way before I let a chick crush my self-righteousness and personal sovereignty.
That said, pick your battles. I'm not talking about flying off the handle over a tooth paste tube.
X2 |
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| arabian_ryda |
| the best is when you see some chick bagging her dudes car with him all calm in the passenger seat. and her checking out other guys while she driving by. |
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| someguyincanada |
| two words "Yes dear" |
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| RoB |
Remember, it's your word against hundreds of hers.
:lol: |
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| diesekiel |
quote:
Originally posted by arabian_ryda
the best is when you see some chick bagging her dudes car with him all calm in the passenger seat. and her checking out other guys while she driving by.
Sorry to hear man... Did you straighten her out afterwards? |
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| liveforspd |
quote:
Originally posted by ehrgeiz
Your balls stay attached and you affirm the fact that you wear the man pants in the relationship.
Girls will attempt to get hegemony in any relationship, they're slow calculating monsters that will take it inch by inch if you let them (haha! no pun intended). I've seen way too many dude's broken into shadows of their former selves while their dominant girlfriend/wife hovers over them.
I may be a misogynist dink, but I'll pull the chute on any relationship way before I let a chick crush my self-righteousness and personal sovereignty.
That said, pick your battles. I'm not talking about flying off the handle over a tooth paste tube.
x3 |
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| arabian_ryda |
quote:
Originally posted by diesekiel
Sorry to hear man... Did you straighten her out afterwards?
i was only teaching her how to shift quicker and harder. bitch needed lessons:p |
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| ReasonOne |
I agree with ehrgeiz.
Some things are definitely worth holding your ground over. I rarely fight with my gf of over 4 years, but when we do... just watch the sparks fly - it is not fucking pretty.....
I don't care how unrelenting she can try to be.... if I KNOW that I am in the right I won't budge. Nothing will change until one of three things happen:
1) She provides a VERY clear and concise reason EXACTLY why I am in the wrong, possibly along with a detailed explanation (I'm talking about an articulated argument, not just saying "NO, NO, NO!!!!!")
2) She is still willing to come to some sort of consensus or compromise.
3) One of us is willing to admit that they screwed up and apologize. You also gotta give a valid reason why you are sorry.
The minute you know she wants to compromise you know there is some point where the two of you can make an agreement. I love it when we are pissed off at each other at the beginning of a day and after spending some time talking things through (could be hours or even days) we can actually find some merit to EACH of our opinions. Using someone's exact words in a discussion against them is one of the most effective tools to getting a point across. We've done this to each other time and time again, and I love her for her honesty just as much as she loves me for mine.
#3 has stumped the inexperienced kids for ages. If they screw up, their automatic response is to apologize. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry", a few flowers or chocolates for the ladies and a car wax, blow job or a baked treat for the guys and they think it's over. Finally when they want to hear WHY the other person is sorry they're met with "...........................uhm........uhm..." and it starts all over again with issues accumulating until they eventually break up.
If I have just been an ass, eventually I own up to it. She does the same thing. Nobody likes to be wrong, but the sooner the truth comes out and one admits to it - the sooner you can move on with your lives.
Life is way too short to nitpick your way through it. There are so many other worthwhile things to do with your significant other than argue or fight with them. On the other hand, there are ideas, morals and values that a person treasures so dearly that they cannot help but stand their ground. My opinion is: if it's worth fighting for - then do so. Don't "tuck your dick in" and give in to the other party just to shut them up. And don't compromise your core beliefs. IF you start doing that now, you've taught the other person that they can walk all over you. And would life be worth living spending the rest of your days saying "whatever you say, dear"?
You gotta fight for yourself and your opinions. Nobody's going to do it for you.
I've heard the term "Man Up" on this board, and I cannot think of a better term that most young men NEED to remember. Women will love and respect you more for your level of independent thought (at least the good ones will).
Lastly, the more your relationship endures and the more you are willing to fight for yourself AND your relationship, the stronger it gets.
My two cents.
Cheers :beer: |
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| chewy |
quote:
Originally posted by ehrgeiz
Your balls stay attached and you affirm the fact that you wear the man pants in the relationship.
Girls will attempt to get hegemony in any relationship, they're slow calculating monsters that will take it inch by inch if you let them (haha! no pun intended). I've seen way too many dude's broken into shadows of their former selves while their dominant girlfriend/wife hovers over them.
I may be a misogynist dink, but I'll pull the chute on any relationship way before I let a chick crush my self-righteousness and personal sovereignty.
That said, pick your battles. I'm not talking about flying off the handle over a tooth paste tube.
One of the best posts ever...SHOW THE BITCH WHO's BOSS |
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| midnite |
as in any fight, block and counter.
wait.. :lol: |
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| ehos |
| You're supposed to fight. It her way of saying, 'lets have make up sex.' |
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