| I've Had Enough - Click HERE for Original Thread |
| Answermid |
This is a serious thread because it's a serious discussion.
Well I don't like to admit this, but now it has affected me tremandouly.
I went with my brother to go to McDonalds and they screwed up our order by not giving the food to us because they told us to wait at the side. 20 minutes roll by and I got pissed and went inside which took another 10 minutes and got my food as they said sorry. I didn't have my phone on me at the time because I thought it would be quick, but it turned out to be half an hour.
As we approached the driveway my dad and mom got out the car and I knew they've been driving around to see what we were doing and they could've phoned my brother who had the phone with him at the time. As I got out of the car I saw my dads face and he looked extremley pissed off and my mom said we went for gas, which is bullshit. I get out of the car and say to my father what's wrong and he gives no reply. As we are walking to the front door I explain to my parents the whole situation at McDonalds.
After we (me, my bro, and his fiance) are about to eat I run up stairs and ask my mom and dad if they would like anything to eat and my mom said no, but as I ask my dad he says "It doesn't take more than 10 minutes to get fucking food", so I say "Are you assuming that I'm doing drugs?". Then my mom enters the discussion "we didn't say that". I walk downstairs pissed off for him not believing in his own son and then I tell my brother the whole discussion and at this point he got pissed and walked up stairs. "Why is Terry mad?" he said, "He came downstairs all pissed". My dad got up from where he was sitting and yelled to me and my brother "Get the fuck out of my house you fucking idiots!" and proceeded to push me and choke my brother, but being the size of my brother is he mearly threw my fathers han off him, while I am skinny and pushed my dad away from me to avoid further abuse. "See what your son did" he yelled "All I have done for them and everyone else is giving me shit like that, get out of my house!" as he pushes us yet again.
Me and my brother waslk downstairs and I muttered "He's going to kill me!". Knowing my dad he runs downstairs and said "What you're going to kill me fucking bitch you're going to kill me?", while my mom is holding him back. I repeat "I just said that you're going to kill me" while in my head I wanted to kill him. "Why can't you believe us?" my brother replied and my dad said "Don't lie to me idiots, I know you didnt go there" as he walked upstairs while yelling he is going to kick us out.
That's about it and for the record he has physically abused me multiple times and the rest of my family, but no since me and my brother are much older he meantally abuses us. I have no clue what to do guys he has done this shit too much for me to let it go it was only a month ago he stopped hitting me and calling the police is out of the question because they've been called 5 times to our house for domestic abuse between my dad and my mom. |
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| STiPWR |
First off...Welcome to the club.
If pushing and verbal abuse is all thats going on, consider yourself lucky.
What to do......... Well I moved out at 15. You arnt going to be able to talk sense into your parents, so I would recommend you and your brother leaving.
Its obvious that you and your brother are stressing your dad out, so maybe leave him be.
Once the kids are out of the picture, your parents can sort out there indifferences on their own.
I'm talking from personal experience, and It worked for my family. |
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| Answermid |
Hey thanks for caring man, but that't not all like he beats me and tells me I'm worthless for little things:dunno: .
My mom doesn't want me to leave cause I'm all she's got, but it runs in my dads family that they're all fucked in the head a bit and I'm 100% serious about that, he has to be right all the time even when he's not. My brother is moving to Cali with his fiance and I might move wit them in a year when I'm 18 and done high school.
15 years you moved out?!?? It must've been hard and about the same as me then hey? Sorry to hear that. What did you do after you left the door? |
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| ron1 |
| show me a pic of your dad. i will find him and BEAT some sense into his head. if you guys need a place let me know through pm's |
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| Answermid |
quote:
Originally posted by ron1
show me a pic of your dad. i will find him and BEAT some sense into his head. if you guys need a place let me know through pm's
Hey thanks alot man :)
Goes to show how nice people are. |
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| ron1 |
| hey no prob. if someone wants to beat some one they should get a taste of it too. |
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| REFLUX |
You need to leave that situation.
As does your mom.
If she doesn't leave, then there is no sense in you suffering more of this abuse.
One of you might as well get away from it.
STiPWR's correct, your dad won't change and there is no point in trying to change him.
It will be a tough choice to make but it has to be made, find a better situation that will come along with all the associated changes and hardships, or continue living in your "familiar" abusive situation.
Good for you for wanting to finish high school :thumbup:
Good luck. |
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| Answermid |
quote:
Originally posted by ron1
hey no prob. if someone wants to beat some one they should get a taste of it too.
I have to agree man he needs a taste. |
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| Answermid |
quote:
Originally posted by REFLUX
You need to leave that situation.
As does your mom.
If she doesn't leave, then there is no sense in you suffering more of this abuse.
One of you might as well get away from it.
STiPWR's correct, your dad won't change and there is no point in trying to change him.
It will be a tough choice to make but it has to be made, find a better situation that will come along with all the associated changes and hardships, or continue living in your "familiar" abusive situation.
Good for you for wanting to finish high school :thumbup:
Good luck.
Hey thanks alot Reflux, but the thing is my mom won't leave because "i will look bad in the community" which it total utter bs. After I'm done high school I'm moving to Cali with my bro and starting over there. It's people like you guys that help me not to do something stupid that I'll regret, so thanks alot. |
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| STiPWR |
quote:
Originally posted by Answermid
Hey thanks for caring man, but that't not all like he beats me and tells me I'm worthless for little things:dunno: .
My mom doesn't want me to leave cause I'm all she's got, but it runs in my dads family that they're all fucked in the head a bit and I'm 100% serious about that, he has to be right all the time even when he's not. My brother is moving to Cali with his fiance and I might move wit them in a year when I'm 18 and done high school.
15 years you moved out?!?? It must've been hard and about the same as me then hey? Sorry to hear that. What did you do after you left the door?
Well, maybe just lay low for a bit... See how he changes when your brother moves to california.
As for me, I flopped around at buddies houses till I outstayed my welcome... Dropped out of school, got a job... got a car...Lived in my car for a few months, then joined the army...
Staying in school is a smart move in your part... It wasnt an option in my case. |
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| Answermid |
quote:
Originally posted by STiPWR
Well, maybe just lay low for a bit... See how he changes when your brother moves to california.
As for me, I flopped around at buddies houses till I outstayed my welcome... Dropped out of school, got a job... got a car...Lived in my car for a few months, then joined the army...
Staying in school is a smart move in your part... It wasnt an option in my case.
Ya man will do, we'll see what happens. Holy that's rough man nobody should go through that. |
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| dtjohnst |
Don't stay for your mom. I realize that sounds harsh, but that's my opinion. And I'm not being some heartless boob. She's a grown woman, she makes her own decisions. You have to make yours. The longer anyone stays, the worse it gets. More than once I've seen similar situations end up with one person dead and another going to jail for a long time, because they refused to leave. Either the abuser goes too far, or one day you realize you've had enough and you go too far. Completely beyond your control. Your subconscious takes over and you end it. The best thing is to be far away if that happens. Your mom might ask you to stay now, but deep down inside she'd rather see you leave and be successful than stay and wind up dead, or a vegetable, or a paraplegic.
There are lots of outreach programs I'd suggest you take advantage of. Counseling, assistance getting settled, etc. Things are way different now than they were even 5 years ago. And they're constantly improving in terms of resources to help people in your shoes.
How old are you anyways? |
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| REFLUX |
quote:
Originally posted by dtjohnst
How old are you anyways?
quote:
Originally posted by Answermid
I might move wit them in a year when I'm 18 and done high school.
I'm guessing 17.
Answermid:
I completely agree with you about your mom.
Her looking bad in the eyes of the community will PALE in comparison if/when some life-threatening violence occurs to you or herself.
Life is full of choices, sometimes they are tough choices, but ultimately:
You. Have. A. Choice.
You can CHOOSE.
You can DECIDE.
You DO have control over what happens in your life.
If ANYONE feels they do not, it is because they are CHOOSING NOT to do anything.
They are CHOOSING to stay in their "familiar" yet destructive situation, most likely because they fear change. |
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| stealth |
Does he physically abuse your mom?
Is he your biological dad?
Me personally, depending on the size, and if he was seriously taking things too far, I would kick his ass to the point where he would never raise his hand again against anyone in the family.
If cops got involved tell them it was self defense. |
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| Answermid |
quote:
Originally posted by REFLUX
I'm guessing 17.
Answermid:
I completely agree with you about your mom.
Her looking bad in the eyes of the community will PALE in comparison if/when some life-threatening violence occurs to you or herself.
Life is full of choices, sometimes they are tough choices, but ultimately:
You. Have. A. Choice.
You can CHOOSE.
You can DECIDE.
You DO have control over what happens in your life.
If ANYONE feels they do not, it is because they are CHOOSING NOT to do anything.
They are CHOOSING to stay in their "familiar" yet destructive situation, most likely because they fear change.
Yes I'm 17 and I completley agree that nothing will look bad as what's happening inside the house. Thanks for the cheering up guys it's helping alot. You're right again that I can chose and decide my own life not them. |
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| Answermid |
quote:
Originally posted by stealth
Does he physically abuse your mom?
Is he your biological dad?
Me personally, depending on the size, and if he was seriously taking things too far, I would kick his ass to the point where he would never raise his hand again against anyone in the family.
If cops got involved tell them it was self defense.
Unfortunatley, yes at times my dad like really hits my mom more than me and I try to intervene, but after I stop it and go to get something he's at it again.
Yes, he is my biological dad.
Trust me man I could knock a couple teeth out of that fucker, but I would feel guilty he's my dad.
Part 2 Of the story is my mom came to me like 2 minutes ago and said "Say sorry to him he was only worried" I said "bullshit, why did he say those things and hit me?". Her response "Say sorry or I'm going to kill myself" at that moment I was quite and she said "Tell him you won't say those things to him" and I replied "no" then she said "dont't come to my funeral then". As she walked out she said "I get in shit from everyone and I got shit from your dad last night because of you!"
Right now I am pissed as can be and want to leave, but I don't because of my mom and if I do say sorry you think h will even look at me and say something? Nope. |
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| stealth |
quote:
Originally posted by Answermid
Unfortunatley, yes at times my dad like really hits my mom more than me and I try to intervene, but after I stop it and go to get something he's at it again.
Yes, he is my biological dad.
Trust me man I could knock a couple teeth out of that fucker, but I would feel guilty he's my dad.
Part 2 Of the story is my mom came to me like 2 minutes ago and said "Say sorry to him he was only worried" I said "bullshit, why did he say those things and hit me?". Her response "Say sorry or I'm going to kill myself" at that moment I was quite and she said "Tell him you won't say those things to him" and I replied "no" then she said "dont't come to my funeral then". As she walked out she said "I get in shit from everyone and I got shit from your dad last night because of you!"
Right now I am pissed as can be and want to leave, but I don't because of my mom and if I do say sorry you think h will even look at me and say something? Nope.
Yea you have to have respect for your Dad even though you don't like him.
But the best thing to do is try to talk to them, and see what the cause of these problems are. Ask him what his problem really is. |
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| 300zx.babe |
have you gone to child services?
sometimes they do help.just not when your parents lie so try to record somethings to prove your not lying.
there was one nice cop that came to my house along time ago who cared.and whenever i see him now he asks how im doing etc. if i can find his card i'll give you his name. |
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| Answermid |
quote:
Originally posted by 300zx.babe
have you gone to child services?
sometimes they do help.just not when your parents lie so try to record somethings to prove your not lying.
there was one nice cop that came to my house along time ago who cared.and whenever i see him now he asks how im doing etc. if i can find his card i'll give you his name.
Hey thanks alot and I'll most definitely give him a call. |
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| Answermid |
quote:
Originally posted by stealth
Yea you have to have respect for your Dad even though you don't like him.
But the best thing to do is try to talk to them, and see what the cause of these problems are. Ask him what his problem really is.
I've tried that he's sn as a ox and he won't even look at me like I punched him or something. |
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| T-LAV MRV |
i went through the same thing almost.
my sister took off when she was 16 and moved in with our real dad, didn't change my mom or step dad one bit, my boiling over point was when my stepfather slammed me into a staggered-slat wood fence in the open with others watching when i was 17.
i was out that night. "broke into" the house to get all MY stuff, packed my car with my things with my cousins help, and fucked off.
that was back in '02. saw my family maybe 4 times since then, and they live in Ontario still.
IMO i'd get out while u can, cause it will continue to escalate till u are seriously hurt like i was, or worse.
or u can do what u want to in your mind, go self defence to an inch of his life, that way he will know what its like when the tables have been turned.
drastic times call for drastic measures in some aspects.
and if it comes to that, let us know on here and we will help u move out :) lol.
mike |
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| Answermid |
quote:
Originally posted by T-LAV MRV
i went through the same thing almost.
my sister took off when she was 16 and moved in with our real dad, didn't change my mom or step dad one bit, my boiling over point was when my stepfather slammed me into a staggered-slat wood fence in the open with others watching when i was 17.
i was out that night. "broke into" the house to get all MY stuff, packed my car with my things with my cousins help, and fucked off.
that was back in '02. saw my family maybe 4 times since then, and they live in Ontario still.
IMO i'd get out while u can, cause it will continue to escalate till u are seriously hurt like i was, or worse.
or u can do what u want to in your mind, go self defence to an inch of his life, that way he will know what its like when the tables have been turned.
drastic times call for drastic measures in some aspects.
and if it comes to that, let us know on here and we will help u move out :) lol.
mike
That's true man "drastic times call for drastic measures" and I'm really sorry to hear it was a problem once in your life as well. If this gets too serious I will absolutley tell you guys and we will have a 780 meet at my house haha. |
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| WorkInProgress |
I guess I'm lucky to say that I've never been physically abused, I've lived around (mostly) stable individuals all my life, and any advice I could give you would be far from first-hand experience.
I don't understand, why the police wont come if you call them, that doesn't make sense? Your father has a history of physical violence, you say they've been called out 5 times in the past, what happened when they come out? Did your mom just play like everything was fine, or what, that's the only way I can see the cops not showing up anymore? |
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| REFLUX |
quote:
Originally posted by WorkInProgress
[BI don't understand, why the police wont come if you call them, that doesn't make sense? Your father has a history of physical violence, you say they've been called out 5 times in the past, what happened when they come out? Did your mom just play like everything was fine, or what, that's the only way I can see the cops not showing up anymore? [/B]
I believe it probably goes something like this:
-Police are called
-They rush over
-Find signs of abuse
-Victim doesn't press charges or take any kind of action
-Police do up some paperwork and whatever they can to help stem it from happening again
-Repeat.
Do this 4-5 times and even YOU will be fed up. |
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| diesekiel |
| We should all show up at his house with masks on and stand outside by our cars at like 10pm tonight. Lol just lined up down the block, gangsterrrrrrr stylez, and he can be like "Hey dad, look outside, karma has arrived..." |
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| Answermid |
quote:
Originally posted by diesekiel
We should all show up at his house with masks on and stand outside by our cars at like 10pm tonight. Lol just lined up down the block, gangsterrrrrrr stylez, and he can be like "Hey dad, look outside, karma has arrived..."
Hhahaha the look on his face would be priceless |
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| Answermid |
quote:
Originally posted by REFLUX
I believe it probably goes something like this:
-Police are called
-They rush over
-Find signs of abuse
-Victim doesn't press charges or take any kind of action
-Police do up some paperwork and whatever they can to help stem it from happening again
-Repeat.
Do this 4-5 times and even YOU will be fed up.
Yes exactly how it goes everytime and when the police leave my mom is like tell people that we had some papers to sign I'm like wtf. |
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| diesekiel |
| How's everything been lately? |
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| dtjohnst |
quote:
Originally posted by WorkInProgress
I guess I'm lucky to say that I've never been physically abused, I've lived around (mostly) stable individuals all my life, and any advice I could give you would be far from first-hand experience.
I don't understand, why the police wont come if you call them, that doesn't make sense? Your father has a history of physical violence, you say they've been called out 5 times in the past, what happened when they come out? Did your mom just play like everything was fine, or what, that's the only way I can see the cops not showing up anymore?
They'll go out. They just won't do anything, and they won't be there in 20 minutes...they'll be there in 9 hours.
Here's how it goes:
Cops: "You called....again. Here we are. Were's the wife?"
Wife: "I'm here. You know I..."
Cops: "Shut up. Are you pressing charges this time or did we waste our time?"
Wife: "But officer, he only hits me because he loves me."
Cops: "Fuck. Next time you call us, someone damned well better be dieing. We have better things to do."
The first 2 or 3 times you try to be kind and understanding. you give them the usual routines, the old song and dance. If they haven't bit after 5 times, they aren't going to. You can't force the wife to leave, and you can't give priority to bullshit.
It's the boy who called wolf only the boy has breasts and no balls. |
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| Answermid |
quote:
Originally posted by dtjohnst
They'll go out. They just won't do anything, and they won't be there in 20 minutes...they'll be there in 9 hours.
Here's how it goes:
Cops: "You called....again. Here we are. Were's the wife?"
Wife: "I'm here. You know I..."
Cops: "Shut up. Are you pressing charges this time or did we waste our time?"
Wife: "But officer, he only hits me because he loves me."
Cops: "Fuck. Next time you call us, someone damned well better be dieing. We have better things to do."
The first 2 or 3 times you try to be kind and understanding. you give them the usual routines, the old song and dance. If they haven't bit after 5 times, they aren't going to. You can't force the wife to leave, and you can't give priority to bullshit.
It's the boy who called wolf only the boy has breasts and no balls.
I understand that, but it's not me calling its my mom and I think one of them gave her a number to call him at his own house, wich is terrific, but my mom doesn't. It's like I care I;m moving out after grade 12. |
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| Answermid |
quote:
Originally posted by diesekiel
How's everything been lately?
Pretty much the same man. My mom is harrassing me about everything now "don't go talk to your brother and fiance or you'll turn up like them". Threatens me with her no oging to talk to me and how she compares me to everyone and how I'm the worst child in the world. |
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| liveforspd |
| where does your brother live? My best friend went the way of getting emancipated when he was 16 and hasn't talked to his parents since. hes now 22 and says he couldnt be more happy. it is tuff tho he worked 7 days a week + finished school. if you and one of your friends parents are kinda tight explain the situation to them and chances they will have a good suggestions that might help. |
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| Stainless |
quote:
Originally posted by Answermid
Pretty much the same man. My mom is harrassing me about everything now "don't go talk to your brother and fiance or you'll turn up like them". Threatens me with her no oging to talk to me and how she compares me to everyone and how I'm the worst child in the world.
That's not right either. If your Dad is physically abusing you, your mom is mentally abusing you. The whole "I'll kill myself" thing sounds like a huge guilt trip. I have a feeling (and I'm not trying to be offencive here) that you mom might be a victim that in some way feels like she deserves what your father is doing to her, and is using you as an outlet to release any anger that she has.
There has to be a way for this to work out for you, I'd try to find some sort of government bursary to get you on your feet, and educated. I'd hope that if you got out of your situation, that your mom would also smarten up a bit and get the hell out of there.
I remember my Baba had an abusive husband (I don't even refer to that asshole as my grandfather) and it took her years to leave him, because like your mom, she thought it would be shameful. If I saw that fucker on the street, I'd drop him with out hesitation.
I hope everything works out well for you, you seem like a decent guy, and shouldn't have to put up with shit like that. |
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| Answermid |
quote:
Originally posted by liveforspd
where does your brother live? My best friend went the way of getting emancipated when he was 16 and hasn't talked to his parents since. hes now 22 and says he couldnt be more happy. it is tuff tho he worked 7 days a week + finished school. if you and one of your friends parents are kinda tight explain the situation to them and chances they will have a good suggestions that might help.
O he lives in Cali soon and he has it set there for him and I took my mom and had a civil comversation with her and said listen when I'm done post secondaty I'm moving with my bro and she's like I understand. |
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| Answermid |
quote:
Originally posted by Stainless
That's not right either. If your Dad is physically abusing you, your mom is mentally abusing you. The whole "I'll kill myself" thing sounds like a huge guilt trip. I have a feeling (and I'm not trying to be offencive here) that you mom might be a victim that in some way feels like she deserves what your father is doing to her, and is using you as an outlet to release any anger that she has.
There has to be a way for this to work out for you, I'd try to find some sort of government bursary to get you on your feet, and educated. I'd hope that if you got out of your situation, that your mom would also smarten up a bit and get the hell out of there.
I remember my Baba had an abusive husband (I don't even refer to that asshole as my grandfather) and it took her years to leave him, because like your mom, she thought it would be shameful. If I saw that fucker on the street, I'd drop him with out hesitation.
I hope everything works out well for you, you seem like a decent guy, and shouldn't have to put up with shit like that.
Hey thanks alot manand you're right I don't deserve this and my sister in law had a very cryful talk wit my mother and all theses true feelings came out and from what I know now it's my father that's the problem in this whole situation time after time. |
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| boomer101 |
You need to get out badly, I was in that exact position at home, till I moved out here. I was ready to kill my parents because of the constant arguing between them and me. They really like to be in your face during the times when your getting shit from all angles( school, work, friends or lack of, gf or lack there of, and etc) That's when it seemed like I was at my bitter end because the crap going at home started consume me, and I really couldn't concentrate on anything, but preparing for the battle at home every night. This is an environment where holidays and b-days weren't celebrated or anything that "normal famalies"(sp) would have. It took lots of counseling, anti depressants(not on them anymore but a long 9 months) before I could get rid of that rage towards them and focus on life and my goals. Run when you have that chance( the new start in Cali) Anyway my 2 cents
boomer101 |
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| Answermid |
quote:
Originally posted by boomer101
You need to get out badly, I was in that exact position at home, till I moved out here. I was ready to kill my parents because of the constant arguing between them and me. They really like to be in your face during the times when your getting shit from all angles( school, work, friends or lack of, gf or lack there of, and etc) That's when it seemed like I was at my bitter end because the crap going at home started consume me, and I really couldn't concentrate on anything, but preparing for the battle at home every night. This is an environment where holidays and b-days weren't celebrated or anything that "normal famalies"(sp) would have. It took lots of counseling, anti depressants(not on them anymore but a long 9 months) before I could get rid of that rage towards them and focus on life and my goals. Anyway my 2 cents
boomer101
That sounds exactly like my situation man all 100% of that. hat's what I'm doing moving out soon, but after my school. |
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| Realistic |
Watch this video, it kinda sticks.
http://hatebreed.com/shared/downloa...reshold_300.mov
here are the lyrics:
http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/ha...upremacy.html#4
Personally, the idea of getting a 780tuners meet might work. if your dad knows something might happen at the drop of a hat.. he might think twice about his actions.
I say.. everyone get together and line up facing the house, everyone turn on headlights..
when he's like, wtf.. simply say.. WTF
your mom will be disappointed in that... everyone knows.. but your dad will be like, great, i've got 100 kids aged 18-24 willing to rape me. |
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| Godzilla |
quote:
Originally posted by Realistic
Watch this video, it kinda sticks.
http://hatebreed.com/shared/downloa...reshold_300.mov
here are the lyrics:
http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/ha...upremacy.html#4
Personally, the idea of getting a 780tuners meet might work. if your dad knows something might happen at the drop of a hat.. he might think twice about his actions.
I say.. everyone get together and line up facing the house, everyone turn on headlights..
when he's like, wtf.. simply say.. WTF
your mom will be disappointed in that... everyone knows.. but your dad will be like, great, i've got 100 kids aged 18-24 willing to rape me.
givin the situation i don't think that would help at all. as much as i hate to admit because i wouild love to help do something like that. if this guy is physically abusive, having all these guys just show up to put some fear in him might give him enough fuel to go off the deep end and do some serious damage. |
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