| Cyber sex - Click HERE for Original Thread |
| Prudz_lude |
:lol: really funny cyber sex convos
http://board.sitcom.co.uk/Bloodninja.txt
Just a sample
bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
bloodninja: Don't fucking laugh at me!
bloodninja: This shit is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a fucking break
bloodninja: I'm serious.
sweet17: I don't get it
bloodninja: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing.
bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are fucking sick.
bloodninja: Send me your picture.
I know it doesn't sound sexual but it some how becomes rofl |
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| Prudz_lude |
Bloodninja:Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate K, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate:Who are you?
Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
Bloodninja:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
Bloodninja:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
Bloodninja:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate:I want everything, baby!
Bloodninja:Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate:Umm...Yes
DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
Bloodninja:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
Bloodninja:You can't hurry good pizza.
Bloodninja:I'm on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now.
Bloodninja:How did you know?
Bloodninja:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
Bloodninja:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate ooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
Bloodninja:So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
Bloodninja:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate:What the fuck?
DirtyKate:You perverted piece of shit
DirtyKate:Fuck |
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| Prudz_lude |
Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
Sarah19fca: you like that?
Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
Sarah19fca: /ignore
Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.
Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset. |
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| Prudz_lude |
Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
Bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?
MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
MommyMelissa: is that it?
Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT.
MommyMelissa: ...
Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa: What the fuck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. *****.
MommyMelissa: whatever. |
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| Prudz_lude |
bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't shit with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1, 000, 000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby? |
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| Prudz_lude |
bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some p****ic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Fuck am I hard now. |
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| Prudz_lude |
| There are two really longs ones in that link that are ubber funny. Either way, read up and enjoy. I was laughing so hard. Bloodninja is the shit :lol: |
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| Twigs_Dee |
:blink: :blink:
:lol: :thumbup: |
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| B-TownRep |
Holy Fuck, I'm crying from laughing so hard at that last long one in the second link. Jesus, this man is a genius....
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: |
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| AudiInProgress |
LOL @ I put on my robe and wizard hat...
That shit is epic. |
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| Prudz_lude |
Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
Bloodninja:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate:You sound sexy..
:lol: :lol: |
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| kraize |
| :blink: :blink: :blink: :lol: :lol: absolutely unreal where do you find that shit... |
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| anschutz_93 |
bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
sweet17: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: FUCK YOU DICKHEAD!!
bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
bloodninja: ...going limp again.
bloodninja: Hello?
bloodninja: Say it!
bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
LMAO the last one was the best! |
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| Prudz_lude |
quote:
Originally posted by anschutz_93
bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
sweet17: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: FUCK YOU DICKHEAD!!
bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
bloodninja: ...going limp again.
bloodninja: Hello?
bloodninja: Say it!
bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
LMAO the last one was the best!
:lol: :lol: :lol: yah the poo nuggets got me and the candy apple part :lol: |
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| Casanova |
Isn't there one where he starts off with
bloodninja: "I put on my wizard hat and robe.."
Girl: "Oh not you again"
bloodninja: "Shit, I really have to start keeping track of the names on here" |
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| unlimited |
| hahahaa awesome find :p |
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| Beerking |
AHAHAHA, wow that is gold!!! Post more, I haven't laughed this hard for awhile.
+1 |
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| 2ndgenlude |
| these are like 5 years old haha. but still funny. |
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| Prudz_lude |
quote:
Originally posted by 2ndgenlude
these are like 5 years old haha. but still funny.
yah my friend just informed me we are all noobz. these have apparently been around as long as the internet...:lol: |
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| gtaylor |
| hahha bloodninja=my hero |
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| al87 |
| lmao, man i couldnt stop laughing at that shit ahah tooo funny. fukin bloodninja |
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| Timmie_G |
quote:
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
gold |
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| Beagles |
quote:
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
:lol: :lol: :lol: |
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| Prudz_lude |
| rofl that is gold |
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| AudiInProgress |
VictimX_27: Hi there!
cheesedog: HEYA!
VictimX_27: What u up 2?
cheesedog: Nice English.
cheesedog: Did you learn that on the short bus?
VictimX_27: Get fucked
cheesedog: I'm just joking relax
cheesedog: What's your name?
VictimX_27: Whats yours?
cheesedog: I asked you first.
VictimX_27: I asked you second
cheesedog: Did I time just warp to middle school?
VictimX_27: huh
cheesedog: Never mind. My name is Johnny
cheesedog: Johnny Cheesedog
VictimX_27: Thats not your real name
cheesedog: Why isn't that my real name?
VictimX_27: No one has the name Cheesedog as a last name
cheesedog: Well I do. Whats wrong with it?
VictimX_27: Nothin i suppose
VictimX_27: Is that your real pic in that av?
cheesedog: Yes it is
VictimX_27: Very handsome
cheesedog: Thanks
VictimX_27: You kinda look like eminem
cheesedog: Fuck you.
VictimX_27: HEY! I meant that in a good way
VictimX_27: I think eminem is hot!
cheesedog: Oh. You think I'm hot?
VictimX_27: Yeah
cheesedog: What do you look like?
cheesedog: Do you have a pic?
VictimX_27: I don't show my picture to anyone
cheesedog: Why not?
VictimX_27: Cause I'm ugly
cheesedog: I won't make fun of you
VictimX_27: Its not that. I just don't like my looks
cheesedog: So you have no self-esteem, huh?
cheesedog: Is that what you're saying?
VictimX_27: I just don't think I'm pretty
cheesedog: Let me be the judge of that.
VictimX_27: Nahhh
cheesedog: Then describe yourself.
VictimX_27: Why do u wanna know what I look like?
cheesedog: Because I think you're nice
cheesedog: I want to picture you in my head while I'm talking to you.
VictimX_27: LMAO!! You don't want 2 picture me. Trust me
cheesedog: Why not?
VictimX_27: I told you. I'm ugly.
cheesedog: Well... I think you're beautiful on the inside.
VictimX_27: You don't even know me
cheesedog: I'm a pretty good judge of character
VictimX_27: Then why do u need 2 see me?
cheesedog: I just wanted to know thats all
cheesedog: If you aren't comfortable with it... thats fine.
VictimX_27: You don't understand
cheesedog: Is it that bad?
VictimX_27: YESSSSS
cheesedog: Ok then. I'm gonna picture you as Weezy from the Jeffersons.
cheesedog: She is the bomb!
cheesedog: She makes me hot just thinking about her!
VictimX_27: Wheezy?
cheesedog: Yep. Weezy.
VictimX_27: Who is that?
cheesedog: George's wife.
VictimX_27: Who is george
cheesedog: George Jefferson. From the Jeffersons.
cheesedog: Are you fucking deaf?
VictimX_27: Who are the Jeffersons?
cheesedog: Oh lord. Here we go
VictimX_27: wut?
cheesedog: You don't know who the Jeffersons are?
VictimX_27: Should I?
cheesedog: Yes.
VictimX_27: Well I don't.
cheesedog: FISH DONT FRY IN THE KITCHEN! BEANS DONT BURN ON THE GREEEELL...
VictimX_27: huhhh?
cheesedog: TOOK A WHOOOOLE LOTTA LU UH VINNNN. JUST TO GET UP THAT HEEEELL
VictimX_27: Wut the hell are you saying?
cheesedog: Hold on a second
cheesedog: Here you go. *PIC*
VictimX_27: Thats her?
cheesedog: Yep
VictimX_27: I don't look anything like that
cheesedog: SHUT UP! You're ruining my fantasy!
VictimX_27: LOL. You're funny.
cheesedog: What's funny?
VictimX_27: u r
cheesedog: I'm glad I entertain you
VictimX_27: me 2
cheesedog: So if you don't look like Weezy, what do you look like?
VictimX_27: u don't give up do u?
cheesedog: Never
VictimX_27: I'm the exact opposite of her
cheesedog: ???
VictimX_27: I'm very white
cheesedog: Thats cool, my white anti-soul sista'
VictimX_27: LOL
cheesedog: I can dig white chicks too, I guess.
VictimX_27: I'm whiter than most
cheesedog: really?
VictimX_27: I'm an albino
cheesedog: a what?
VictimX_27: u don't know what that is?
cheesedog: I've heard the word before
VictimX_27: I have no pigment in my skin, eyes or hair
VictimX_27: So I'm all white
cheesedog: This is bullshit
VictimX_27: I'm serious!
VictimX_27: You've never seen an albino before?
cheesedog: No. Where do they live? Albinia?
VictimX_27: No, we live all over.
cheesedog: Then how come I've never seen any
VictimX_27: Lucky I suppose
cheesedog: Send me your picture. I wanna know what an albino looks like.
VictimX_27: I'll send you a picture of one but not me
cheesedog: Ok
VictimX_27: Here u go *PIC*
cheesedog: Whoa. Thats freaky
VictimX_27: See why I don't send my picture out?
cheesedog: there's nothing wrong with it.
cheesedog: It doesn't make you ugly
cheesedog: This chick is kind of hot actually.
VictimX_27: Thank u
cheesedog: No problem
cheesedog: Her, not you. I don't know what you look like.
VictimX_27: Are you gonna be on in 3 hours?
cheesedog: Yes
VictimX_27: I have to go to the mall with my sister
VictimX_27: Will you be here when I get back?
cheesedog: S ure. Then I'll sex you up.
VictimX_27: Gee thanks. LOL
cheesedog: I'm serious
VictimX_27: We'll see.
cheesedog: Yes we will.
VictimX_27: Bye for now!
cheesedog: Make sure you wear some sunscreen.
VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT>
About 3 hours later...
VictimX_27: HEY!
cheesedog: Hello there
VictimX_27: I'm back
cheesedog: Have fun at the mall?
VictimX_27: Yeah. I got some new shoes
cheesedog: Interesting
VictimX_27: Not really. Just shoes
cheesedog: You ready to be sexed up now?
VictimX_27: LOL
cheesedog: Is that a yes?
VictimX_27: Could be
VictimX_27:
cheesedog: HOT DAMN!
cheesedog: I gently suck your nipples
cheesedog: I feel them get hard then I jam my hand down your..
VictimX_27: WOAH! Slow down cowboy
cheesedog: Why?
VictimX_27: I'm not just gonna cyber with you if thats all you want
cheesedog: What do you mean?
VictimX_27: You're not going to ignore me later are you?
cheesedog: Of course not.
cheesedog: I like you.
VictimX_27: I don't even know how old you are.
cheesedog: I'm 27. Now....
cheesedog: I gently massage your breasts with my rough hands
cheesedog: I roll your nipples between my fingers
VictimX_27: WAIT!
cheesedog: They get hard again... what?
VictimX_27: Don't you wanna know anything about me first?
VictimX_27: Like what I like?
cheesedog: Oh yeah. Sure. Hurry up.
VictimX_27: That didn't sound convincing.
cheesedog: YES I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!
VictimX_27: Now u r being a smartass
VictimX_27: Just give me a minute
cheesedog: ok
VictimX_27: I'm back
cheesedog: np
VictimX_27: thank you
cheesedog: So what do you like?
VictimX_27: Ummmm being licked
cheesedog: Where?
VictimX_27: Everywhere
cheesedog: Any place in particular?
VictimX_27: uhhh yeah
cheesedog: tell me
VictimX_27: on my clit
cheesedog: OK!
cheesedog: NOW YOU'RE TALKIN!
VictimX_27: I also like being done from behind
cheesedog: Ooooooohhhh.
cheesedog: Ok. Check this out.
cheesedog: We're in an abandoned building.
cheesedog: No is around. Its all quiet.
VictimX_27: Uh huh
cheesedog: I gently unbutton your pants and slide my hand across your clit
cheesedog: You get all warm and juicy.
cheesedog: I slip your panties down and continue to massage your pussy
VictimX_27: oooohh mmmm
cheesedog: I place my mouth on your pussy as I eat you from behind
cheesedog: I wiggle my tounge around across your moist hole
VictimX_27: yessss
cheesedog: I cover your ears with my hands as I eat you.
cheesedog: Egon and Ray sneak in from the back.
cheesedog: *Powering up Proton packs*
VictimX_27: ???
cheesedog: Then... Egon BLASTS your pasty white ass!!
cheesedog: POW!! BZZZZZTTTTTPHTTTTTT!!!
cheesedog: Winston and Peter set up the containment trap....
VictimX_27: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!!!
cheesedog: You wiggle around in the proton streams buck naked
cheesedog: The streams almost cross! Look out!!
cheesedog: Peter smacks you across the chin with his gun
cheesedog: They open the trap and it sucks your pale ass in!
VictimX_27: This isn't funny johnny!
cheesedog: SHUT UP! YOUR CAUGHT!
cheesedog: **puts you in the containment area**
cheesedog: Slimer is in there too..
VictimX_27: YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE!
cheesedog: I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!
cheesedog: Now...Slimer sticks his green, slimey cock in your pigmentless ass.
cheesedog: **HE SLIMES YOU!**
VictimX_27: Never talk to me again!
cheesedog: He cums all over your hair... but no one notices cause its the same color
VictimX_27: FUCK YOUUUU
cheesedog: He eats a powdered donut!
VictimX_27: SHUT UP AND FUCK YOUUUU!!!!!
cheesedog: o wait! It was your hand, you scary, white whore!
VictimX_27: LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
cheesedog: Chill out, Casper. You're trapped, I said.
cheesedog: Slimer goes to lick your clit.
cheesedog: But there is already slime on your it!!
cheesedog: Slimer thinks you are a cheater and gets jealous!!
cheesedog: HE RIPS YOUR WHITE TITS OFF!
VictimX_27: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!
cheesedog: **Plays volleyball with them**
VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT> |
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| AudiInProgress |
tekubus2002: hello
tekubus2002: are you nice girl
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes! A/S/L?
tekubus2002: hello
tekubus2002: i am not your age
tekubus2002: some older
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: That's ok!
tekubus2002: i am 28
tekubus2002: not too good for girl like you
tekubus2002: you are living in america
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes!
tekubus2002: i have visa for to come and stay
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Where do you live?
tekubus2002: i am now living in london
tekubus2002: but i am from africa my birth
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So you are a black man?
tekubus2002: i have many place in my heart for night gorl like you
tekubus2002: i am brown
tekubus2002: of color
tekubus2002: but do not have ugly face as do some
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I am glad to hear that!
tekubus2002: it is ferturs they say
tekubus2002: some do not like the brown in the face
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Why not? Because it looks like poop?
tekubus2002: do you like ?
tekubus2002: some say cake some say poop
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I like it!
tekubus2002: i say cake
tekubus2002: ithink you are nice and special
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Thank you!
tekubus2002: for me to have as one day to be a wofe
tekubus2002: or maybe a nice friend
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Really? I would love to be your wife, if you are kind and gentle.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What would you do to win my love?
tekubus2002: what would you have me do my prince ?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Tell me!
tekubus2002: i would make you a bed of the roses and lay on you then
tekubus2002: so that you would feel pretty and warm
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You would lay on me?
tekubus2002: ok
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Like a man-blanket?
tekubus2002: i said so ok
tekubus2002: yes
tekubus2002: a blanked made of from me
tekubus2002: you liek this concep ?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I do!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Would you be other types of furniture for me?
tekubus2002: if you had no furniture
tekubus2002: perhaps
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Would you be a sofa when I wanted to sit and watch TV?
tekubus2002: i do not make proper otomon
tekubus2002: if it please you to sit i will be stand for your pleasure
tekubus2002: as long as you become in love and happy for me
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: That would be lovely!
tekubus2002: i know this
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: If it was dark, would you be a lamp for me?
tekubus2002: i do not lisht from my body but perhaps if i had a light in my hand
tekubus2002: or a bulb
tekubus2002: i could make less darkness
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: If you put a bulb in your mouth...
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And then an electrical cord up your ass.
tekubus2002: i have seen this work
tekubus2002: on the television
tekubus2002: maybe
tekubus2002: on the uncle fester i have seen
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So you could be a whole living room set of furniture for me!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You have made me so happy.
tekubus2002: but i dio not know if this is something that is scientific
tekubus2002: i am glad you have become happy now
tekubus2002: when will we greet
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You are coming in March?
tekubus2002: i have a apointment in new york in march i will maybe see you if you like me to be with you
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I am in California.
tekubus2002: its ok
tekubus2002: i can come there too
tekubus2002: from train goes there
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: If you come I want you to do something special for me.
tekubus2002: are you living with parents ?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes
tekubus2002: you can come out from the house to greeting at the train someday
tekubus2002: we can go exploring your country's side
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What I want you to do is this:
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I want you to rent a hotel room.
tekubus2002: ok am listening
tekubus2002: go head
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And I want you to be all the furniture in the hotel room.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And then we will make love.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Do you understand?
tekubus2002: at one time ?
tekubus2002: yes i do
tekubus2002: but only one perhapos
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: No
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: It needs to be everything.
tekubus2002: and then become other and then other
tekubus2002: i am not so decorative i think
tekubus2002: but we will find a way
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I want to sit on you as a chair and watch TV - which is you pretending to be the TV - at the same time as you the refrigerator keeps my food cold.
tekubus2002: i want to try
tekubus2002: but i do not know scientist to keep cold
tekubus2002: but i have a warm body foor keeping your feet wart
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I think you can do anything!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You seem so smart!
tekubus2002: and your vagina warm to the touch maybe
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Maybe!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So you and i would make love?
tekubus2002: i am so smart and you can learn from me as i teaching you things of that nature
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: okay!
tekubus2002: would you be able to appreciate this ?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What would you teach me?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I have always had a fantasy about making love to a bedside table.
tekubus2002: we have many sexual customs in my country wich we find sex
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Tell me about some of them.
tekubus2002: do you have circumsised ?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Of course! You can buy furniture uncircumcised (natural) or circumcised (veneer).
tekubus2002: yes exactly
tekubus2002: we have one women who are not
tekubus2002: they are considered hrony
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Oh really?
tekubus2002: and we have ones that have this procedure
tekubus2002: and they are good wives
tekubus2002: not sluts
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Interesting
tekubus2002: it is not painful
tekubus2002: ony with one pinch only
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So I should have that done?
tekubus2002: if you wish to become a good bride and sit with no regard
tekubus2002: yes !
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: If you act as all the furniture in a hotel room of love I will gladly let you cut the hell out of my cooter.
tekubus2002: this is a good measure
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Sounds fair.
tekubus2002: and you will love me more for this is my custom
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But before you do, I want to use you as EVERY piece of furniture.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I want you to be my ice machine.
tekubus2002: as such ?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I want you to be my closet.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I want you to be my toilet.
tekubus2002: i do not know if i can become things like irioning board
tekubus2002: this becomes hot to the surface
tekubus2002: toilet?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes
tekubus2002: i think you might now want that
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I do!
tekubus2002: go to the bathroom on my body?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: IN your body.
tekubus2002: oh
tekubus2002: well ok so it is
tekubus2002: it is only one sacrifice for my love and nature
tekubus2002: what would you wna t to do with my penis ?
tekubus2002: as i am very stong in the penis
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Really!
tekubus2002: oh yes
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I would like your penis to be furniture too.
tekubus2002: how is this
tekubus2002: while it was elongate ?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Either way...
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: When it is elongate I would like it to be a curtain rod.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And while it is flaccid I would like it to be a doorstop.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: In the hotel room.
tekubus2002: it is useful in this manner
tekubus2002: as long as it can be it can be only many things
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I understand!
tekubus2002: good
tekubus2002: it can not be some things
tekubus2002: but others yes
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What can it not be?
tekubus2002: it cannot be a devining rod
tekubus2002: i have not had much success with finding water while it is elongate
tekubus2002: only if while i urinate in the direction of my face
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Do you do that often? |
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| Beagles |
| Those are so great :bowrofl: |
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| AudiInProgress |
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| Drave |
jd998: nuh girls can 2
jd998: but its not like our cum its like water but clear
sweetangel13: rly?
sweetangel13: ive never done it
jd998: ok
jd998: well how do u no when to stop
sweetangel13: i dunno, it feels good for a while and i just decide to stop...
sweetangel13: im afraid of my parents walking in
jd998: y how do u do it
jd998: liekon ur bed or with ur nikers on
sweetangel: at night i get on my bed and put my covers over me
jd998: n wat
jd998: pull ur nikers down
sweetangel13: then i take off my panties and rub some vaseline on my fingers
jd988: ok y vaseline
sweetangel13: it makes it easier
sweetangel13: then i stick a finger in there
jd998: nice nice
sweetangel13: and start moving it around
jd998: u got msn
sweetangel13: no sorry
jd998: fuk yer
jd998: how many fingers have u had in ur pussy before
sweetangel13: and eventually i get 2 fingers in there
sweetangel13: then i put some vaseline on my other hand
sweetangel13: and start rubbing my penis
jd998: wat |
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| Therin |
| Bloodninja... god i miss irc. those days were the shit. |
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| beeb |
quote:
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking
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| Therin |
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